.Loneliness Paradox

You’re scrolling through Instagram and there it is again—another beach bonfire party, another hike with friends, another perfectly filtered cappuccino clinked in cheers. Everyone seems to be out enjoying the Santa Cruz sunshine, surfing at Pleasure Point, brunching on the patio, laughing in a sea of selfies.

So why does it feel like you’re the only one left out?

Having relocated to Santa Cruz after six years in Oregon, I get it! In fact, we’re both in good company—ironically, since loneliness is one of the most shared but least talked-about experiences, especially in our connected-but-disconnected culture.If you’ve ever felt like the rest of the world is living their best life while you’re stuck home in sweatpants feeling a little invisible, you’re far from alone.

Even here, in our vibrant, beachy, wellness-rich Santa Cruz, loneliness can sneak up on us. For some, it’s the quiet ache after a move, a breakup, or the kids leaving home. For others, it’s woven into the daily routine—working remotely, caregiving, or just not feeling seen in a town that can sometimes feel transient and touristy. And with Highway 1 traffic, it can be tricky to trek beyond your own hood.

The Cure Is Local

It’s no joke. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness is now considered a public health epidemic. We’re more digitally connected than ever, but many of us are missing the real-life connections that sustain us. And social media only magnifies the gap—highlight reels create the illusion that everyone else is surrounded by friends, having effortless fun. But that’s all it is—an illusion.

Here’s the truth: many people feel the same way. They’re craving connection, they’re wondering how to find it, and they’re often waiting for someone else to make the first move.

The good news? Santa Cruz is full of opportunities to make real-life connections. Not the ones that require a selfie, but the ones that feed your soul. Here are a few surprisingly easy and joy-filled ways to start feeling less alone—and more at home—right where you are.

1. Take a class at Cabrillo. Whether you’re diving into ceramics, exploring creative writing or finally learning Spanish, Cabrillo College offers a wide range of affordable, community-based classes that make it easy to connect with others who share your interests. The casual, low-pressure environment is perfect for building new skills and new friendships.

2. To Meet People … Try Meetup.com. It’s a great resource to find local groups with common interests, from hiking to mountain biking to Women over 50 or people just like you.

3. Drum by the Sea. This semi-weekly drum circle Meetup gathering is a balm for the nervous system and a unique gateway to connection. No experience necessary, and any percussion instrument will do. You don’t even have to talk—just show up and drum. Magic often follows.

4. Join a Class Where Conversation Happens Naturally. Whether it’s a Shape class at GOAT, Team Training at Paradigm Sport, or yoga at Breath & Oneness, moving with others helps us feel part of something. And post-class chats in the lobby? That’s sometimes where the good stuff starts.

5. Say Yes to Weird Invitations. Dance Church. A climate march. A volunteer cleanup. You never know what or who you’ll find when you step a little outside your usual zone.

Reframing Fun

Here’s the tough-love part: connection takes effort. Not effort in the “perfect outfit and witty banter” way. Effort in the “be brave enough to say hi” kind of way.

Start small. Smile at someone after yoga class. Compliment someone’s T-shirt at the farmers market. Ask someone in line at Companion if they’ve tried the blueberry buckwheat scone. You’ll be surprised at how many people are eager for the same connection you’re craving.

Beneath the Instagram-perfect waves and kombucha culture, Santa Cruz has a community full of depth, creativity and kindness. But you have to participate to feel it. You have to show up—even when it’s awkward, even when you’re unsure.

So if you’re feeling lonely, let this be a gentle reminder: you’re not the only one. Not by a long shot. Take a breath, take a step, and know this: your people are out there—possibly just one beach yoga, Meetup or volunteer group away.

meetup.com/drum-circles-by-the-sea/
goatsantacruz.com/
paradigmsport.com/
breathandoneness.com/
cabrillo.edu/
dolphindancing.com/dance-church-santa-cruz-sundays