In October, two Santa Cruz siblings were violently removed from a relative’s home and forced into a family therapy program with their mother.
After that, Maya and Sebastian, now 16 and 12, were not heard from until May 29, when they ran away from their mother’s home and went into hiding.
“We finally got away,” Maya says in the first of a series of videos, taken with a shaky camera as the kids were driven away during their 3am escape.
Since then, the kids have taken to Instagram to describe their experiences with reunification therapy, a controversial program that ostensibly aims to reunite children with alienated parents.
“I was so scared, I didn’t move at all,” says Sebastian. He says one transport agent pushed him into the car seat by his throat.
They were then driven to Los Angeles, where their mother waited with two family therapists: Santa Cruz-based Regina Marshall and Lynn Steinberg, who has a practice in Southern California.
Both kids have accused their mother of abuse and say they want to live with their father. Santa Cruz County Superior Court Judge Rebecca Connolly has awarded full custody to their mother.
In a brief filed in Santa Cruz County Superior Court, psychologist Catherine Barrett states that, when the court determined that no abuse had occurred, Steinberg suggested that the children’s father must have been alienating the mother.
Barrett calls this a “false choice,” and says that, if the kids’ psychologist had used a clinically accepted framework, they may have been able to discern a cause for the kids’ behavior.
“…it should be noted that parental alienation has not been empirically validated by the field of clinical or forensic psychology and does not align with the research of the field,” she states in the court filing.
As a result, “the children unquestionably experienced trauma during their retrieval and likely during ‘reunification therapy,’” Barrett states.
Reunification therapy and the concept of parental alienation is controversial in psychiatric circles, the latter not recognized in the latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Tina Swithin, who campaigns against reunification therapy in her blog One Mom’s Battle, says there is little oversight or regulation for reunification therapy.
“It has all sprouted up from the infiltration of this pseudoscience,” she says.
In the Program
The four-day, intensive therapy program included being kept in a room with the knobs removed from the door, which was equipped with an alarm, Maya says.
The kids say they were repeatedly accused of lying about their accusations against their mother. They were also threatened with being taken to a “wilderness camp,” where insubordination could mean having food or blankets withheld.
“Even when I first came in I was crying and sobbing because I didn’t want to see my mom, and Lynn Steinberg told me, ‘you’re overreacting, you’re faking it,’” Maya says.
Transport agents guarded the door, she says, and one of them slept on a mattress outside.
While the sessions included efforts to reconnect the kids with their mother—such as going through their childhood toys with their mother to try to rekindle happy memories—they were also coached to lie about their location, forbidden to contact their friends and father, and change their names.
“We just had to keep lying and hiding, and the thing I wanted more than anything else was to talk to my dad,” Maya says. “But that was the thing we were prevented from the most.”
A Professional’s Take
Pennsylvania-based licensed clinical psychologist Jaime Zuckerman, who is not involved in Maya and Sebastian’s case, says such therapeutic methods can be psychologically damaging.
“The way they go about doing this, to rip the children away from the healthy parent and force them into a relationship that they do not want to be with, is extremely traumatic for them,” Zuckerman says.
Still, the kids’ experience, while often flying under the radar of public perception, is a fairly common occurrence, she says.
“It’s just never really been talked about in this way,” she says. “This is the first case that’s been vocalized on social media.”
Zuckerman says these cases often begin with a claim of parental alienation, a concept not widely accepted in psychiatric circles.
But many judges are not well educated in nuanced issues such as coercive abuse and narcissistic abuse, and many see it as one parent keeping children from the other parent, she says.
Because many judges aim for children to have relationships with both parents, they often rule in favor of the “alienated” parent.
“Because it’s hearsay and because it’s coming from children, and because it’s a contentious divorce, all of these things together really align with the idea that the child is making it up and the parent is coaching them,” Zuckerman says.
Steinberg did not return multiple requests for comment. But she says in her website that her program has a 100% success rate, a claim seemingly belied by the kids’ escape.
But Zuckerman says that many children subjected to programs like Steinberg’s frequently pretend to comply to end the hours of interrogation and “gaslighting.”
“Lynn Steinberg is notorious for brainwashing children and forcing them to align with the abusive parent,” she says.
Court-appointed reunification therapist Jeanette Yoffe, who practices in Los Angeles, says she creates intricate plans that involve all family members.
“But it has to be done step by step by step, and it is imperative that everyone follows the treatment plan that the reunification therapist puts into place, to follow the child’s lead and progress,” she says. “Because the children are victims here.”
When a child does not want to be with one parent, Yoffe says she strives to find out why, and delves into all points of view. But she never uses force.
“To forcefully coerce a child to do reunification therapy is unethical and immoral,” she says. “And it will cause further trauma down the line.”
Yoffe is dubious of Steinberg’s claim that her four-day program can be successful.
“It doesn’t take four days,” she says. “It can take four years. This is a process; you can’t force it. “When we have children stating they don’t want to return, we have to believe them and understand where their anxiety is coming from and decide as a team what is the best practice here.”
Ongoing Efforts
Since the siblings were taken, Maya’s friends have mounted a campaign to change the local and state laws that allowed it. And they have kept the story in the public eye, with several public picketing events throughout the county.
Their efforts have so far been successful. The Santa Cruz County Board of Supervisors in March approved an ordinance that prohibits the use of force by companies that transport children.
Claire Protti, 16, and a group of friends met with Assemblywoman Gail Pellerin and Senator John Laird, both of whom are backing Senate Bill 331—also known as Piqui’s law—which would require that anyone testifying in custody disputes have the proper training or education.
The law would also require special training for judges in domestic violence issues and would prohibit courts from ordering reunification therapy.
SB 331 passed unanimously out of the Senate floor on May 24 and is now being considered by the Assembly.
Protti says that the group wants to keep publicizing the issue as their friends wait to return to Santa Cruz.
“Maya right now is in a state of limbo,” she says. “They aren’t able to come home to see their family for fear they will be taken and we don’t know how long this will continue.”
The group is also calling for a recall of Judge Connolly, who is up for reelection in 2024, Protti says.
“We want to show her that we are disappointed in her, she has been failing us,” she says.
I’d like to correct a few misconceptions in the Good Times article on Reunification Therapy. Specifically, the phenomenon of “parental alienation” wherein one parent actively undermines the relationship between and child and their other parent is not controversial in the field of Family Therapy. It is not a medical condition or psychiatric illness, but it does sometimes happen. Secondly, “reunification therapy” can be a valuable process to help willing children reconnect with an alienated or estranged parent. The article associates the broader concepts of parental alienation and reunification with a horrifically abusive case of malpractice and use of force. Fortunately, the vast majority of reunification therapists make careful assessments about the advisability of reunification, gain consent from all parties before proceeding with any steps toward reunification, and accept that, in some cases reunification, is not in the best interest of the children.
That’s funny because I was never told I had a choice or option to opt out of reunification therapy. I was mandated by the court and forced to sit across from my abusive father every two weeks. Nothing changed any of my opinions about him but I did have to live in fear that something I said would trigger him and he’d come after me. He threatened every person in my family’s lives including mine. I had panic attacks every time I had to go to reunification therapy or go on a visit with him. I was about 5 or 6 when I decided I wanted to just live with my mom because she was safe, but I didn’t get to actually make that decision until I was 18. I could have avoided over a decade of abuse had I been given a choice. But no. Kids know nothing.
This is a terrifying situation. No loving parent or responsible adult would subject a child to this. I’ll happily sign on to recall Judge Connolly. I believe there are also a couple of therapists who need to have their licenses revoked as well. I watched the video of the kids being violently kidnapped. There were two Santa Cruz police officers who stoop by and watched as Maya’s head was slammed by a car door. I’d like to see them held accountable as well.
This is not how our children should be treated. This is criminal.
I had the same thing Happen to me as I spoke to a reunification provider Ms. Janette Yoffe of Los angels. An MFT. I spoke with her once over the phone. She came to court and made all sort of allegations and recommanded to the court i shouldn’t see my minor Child. She was stipulated and forced on me by Stacy finberg of cypress llp, Pedram mansouri, Katie grossbard and their law firm. Please help out. This is not ok.
Steinberg, marshall and Connolly should be in prison for this whole scenario. It’s criminal what’s been done to those kids and they should be able to return to their dad and their dog, their grandma and their friends and just be home and happy.
I am a victim of the unproven, unscientific , unregulated industry of “reunification therapy” that is the complete opposite of what it’s practioner’s such as Dr. Rebecca Bailey of Transitioning Families claim it to be. These practitioners do not meet the Frye test or Daubert standards for expert witness testimony, they have their own group to pad their fake resumes and learn from each other how to torture and harm the parents and children whom they victimize. Read Doreen Ludwig’s book “AFCC Net” sold on Amazon to learn about the birth of this cottage industry that inserts therapeudic jurisprudence in family court cases in total violation of our guaranteed civil rights. I have spoken to many victims who recount the horrific threat therapy, physical abuse, and psychological maltreatment. My daughter’s own 3 days isolation like a prisoner of war after being violently kidnapped is a testament to the harm perpertrated by maltreating mental health workers under color of law. This reunification therapy only seeks to trauma bond children to abusive men while completely isolating them from their bonded mothers. I am so debilitated by Dr. Rebecca Bailey gatekeeping my child for 2 years. She told me she would never let me see my daughter again. How is this in any way reunification? Bailey is extremely cruel. Many mothers cannot endure this. The suicide of Catherine Kassenoff recently brought world wide attention. The crime of ripping a child away from a parent and holding them hostage cannot be underscored. It’s called child kidnapping under color of law and hostage holding of the children under color of law using these reunification quacktitioners who should be in prison. We the people of Santa Cruz must not tolerate this. All three kidnapped children forced into these child torture reunification therapies must be rescued and returned to relationship with their preferred parents. Our peace officers need to be trained in Constitutional law so that they never make the same mistakes again.The family court must be abolished as it violates every guaranteed and protected civil right. Lawsuits under 42 USC 1983 are that remedy. It’s long past time to put that beast down. Get on it folks. And the Rebecca Baileys and Lynn Steinbergs need to go to prison. That’s common sense. The field of Psychology needs a major overhaul. The California Board of Psychology who continues to license Lynne Steinberg and Rebecca Bailey, need to be held accountable. They have thousands of pages of complaints and have willfully and wantonly ignored them, thereby sullying the reputation of the entire industry as untrustworthy and unreliable. This is not an isolated event. It’s happening everywhere.
I am a victim of the unproven, unscientific , unregulated industry of “reunification therapy” that is the complete opposite of what it’s practioner’s such as Dr. Rebecca Bailey of Transitioning Families claim it to be. These practitioners do not meet the Frye test or Daubert standards for expert witness testimony, they have their own group to pad their fake resumes and learn from each other how to torture and harm the parents and children whom they victimize. Read Doreen Ludwig’s book “AFCC Net” sold on Amazon to learn about the birth of this cottage industry that inserts therapeudic jurisprudence in family court cases in total violation of our guaranteed civil rights. I have spoken to many victims who recount the horrific threat therapy, physical abuse, and psychological maltreatment. My daughter’s own 3 days isolation like a prisoner of war after being violently kidnapped is a testament to the harm perpertrated by maltreating mental health workers under color of law. This reunification therapy only seeks to trauma bond children to abusive men while completely isolating them from their bonded mothers. I am so debilitated by Dr. Rebecca Bailey gatekeeping my child for 2 years. She told me she would never let me see my daughter again. How is this in any way reunification? Bailey is extremely cruel. Many mothers cannot endure this. The suicide of Catherine Kassenoff recently brought world wide attention. The crime of ripping a child away from a parent and holding them hostage cannot be underscored. It’s called child kidnapping under color of law and hostage holding of the children under color of law using these reunification quacktitioners who should be in prison. We the people of Santa Cruz must not tolerate this. All three kidnapped children forced into these child torture reunification therapies must be rescued and returned to relationship with their preferred parents. Our peace officers need to be trained in Constitutional law so that they never make the same mistakes again.The family court must be abolished as it violates every guaranteed and protected civil right. Lawsuits under 42 USC 1983 are that remedy. It’s long past time to put that beast down. Get on it folks. And the Rebecca Baileys and Lynn Steinbergs need to go to prison. That’s common sense. The field of Psychology needs a major overhaul. The California Board of Psychology who continues to license Lynne Steinberg and Rebecca Bailey, need to be held accountable. They have thousands of pages of complaints and have willfully and wantonly ignored them, thereby sullying the reputation of the entire industry as untrustworthy and unreliable. This is not an isolated event. It’s happening everywhere.
For further reading see pro publica’s recent article on reunifucation.
This is criminal what these “adults” are forcing on these kids…MORE ABUSE!!!!! I will gladly sign anything that recalls this judge!! Unbelievable!!
When family courts mandate reunification therapy, there are no willing participants. Get the quacks out of family court.
#justiceforbrooke #endreunificationcamps #recalljudgeconnelly
Social media can be seen worldwide. I live in Belgium with the capital Brussels where the NATO headquarters and the European Parliament are located. I’ve seen the video of the kidnapping of the Laing children, the Dalle children and Brooke Murdoch. The videos attest to outright atrocities against minors. Their cries for help are heartbreaking. They are treated as serious criminals even though they have not committed any criminal act. These children want protection from an abusive parent. The legal kidnappings and the forced therapies are traumatizing and are therefore proof that the parent in question is abusing his children. The evidence of abuse is the videos themselves. In my country this would be impossible. Public opinion would not accept that. If children do not want to go to a parent, they thoroughly investigate why. And especially; a parent who tries to force his children to love him is guaranteed to reap the opposite, especially when he appeals to child torturers like Lynn Steinberg and similar criminals. They belong in prison. From Belgium. ??
I agree the transport agents , Jessica Laing mother of Maya and Sebastian Laing , reunification therapist Regina Marshall , Judge Rebecca Connolly and Lynn Steinberg need be hold accountable for their actions
Ms. Janette Yoffe (LMFT) after one phone session recommanded family court commissioner not to let me see my teen daughter. Don’t use her quote. She is a child abuser.
Ms. Janette Yoffe talked to me once over the phone and decided to act as an expert in court and testified against me and took my kids away from me.
I had to go through reunification therapy after my dad threatened to kill me. He had always been abusive toward my mom growing up and I witnessed countless threats and violent acts. From a young age I expressed that I did not want to see him anymore, but the judge in our custody case refused to speak to my brother and I at all because we were kids, and ruled in favor of organized visits with my dad. Thank God primary custody was with my mom, but I had panic attacks after a lot of our weekly visits with my dad. I dreaded going every week and my brother and I walked on eggshells to keep him happy and avoid being yelled at or attacked. It felt so gross and unsettling pretending to be interested in what he was saying and happy to be there. I was forced to live an entire double life and a lie just to make my dad happy and satisfy the court. Apparently his happiness and “rights” to us were more important than our safety. My dad’s threat to kill me happened after I tried to talk to him about all of these feelings. It wasn’t even an argument, but the mere mention of his past actions was enough to escalate him. After that, I went to the women’s resource center with my mom and made a report. Had to get a temporary restraining order because we didn’t know if he’d come after me or my family. But because I wasn’t 18, I couldn’t cut off contact for good. That’s when the reunification therapy started. Therapist frequently undermined my feelings, gaslit me, tried to get me to reconcile with my dad. I had to be honest but careful what I said because my dad was sitting right there. It was hell. Luckily after a few years I finally became a legal adult and I haven’t seen my dad since that very day. The court can only treat you like your parent’s property for so long. The rhetoric that children don’t know enough to make their own decisions and that parents are just coaching them or alienating them is ridiculous. It does happen in some cases, but for me that was definitely not the case and I paid heavily for all the abuse the court made me endure. I think the real reason therapy like that is allowed is so that the legal system can pawn their responsibilities off onto other people and so they don’t have to spend money or time coming up with something more ethical. It didn’t matter to them that my case was different or that I was being continually abused. I was just another child going through the same messed up system. I hope one day people start treating kids as actual human beings with the same rights as everyone else. Until then, I’ll keep sharing my story.