In a county where more than one in four adults lives alone, what does a person have to do to get a date around here?
Recently I was chatting with a friend about the local dating scene. He recounted one disappointing online dating experience after another, matches that fizzled, conversations that never led anywhere, and the growing sense that everyone was shopping for someone better. The only surprising part was that this time the story came from a man. We women often assume men have it easier in online dating. Apparently, frustration is an equal opportunity emotion.
Research consistently shows that people in healthy, supportive romantic relationships report greater life satisfaction and better overall well-being. But here’s the important distinction: relationship quality matters far more than relationship status.
Being happily partnered tends to be associated with greater happiness than being single, but being single is often healthier than being in a relationship filled with conflict, criticism or loneliness.
Singles are not inherently less happy. Many report high levels of life satisfaction, particularly when they have strong friendships, meaningful work, supportive family relationships and a sense of purpose.
We all know amazing singles in Santa Cruz. So why do so many of them struggle to meet one another? For many, the answer isn’t a lack of interesting people. It’s a lack of places where genuine connection can happen naturally.
Rather than resign themselves to another evening of swiping, some local singles are creating new opportunities to meet face-to-face. One of them is Janis Baldwin.
A familiar face in Santa Cruz’s business and social community for decades, Baldwin started a Meetup group for singles over 50 earlier this year after reaching her own breaking point with online dating.
“After four years of online dating, I became fed up with how frustrating, superficial and inauthentic it was,” she says. “When it works, it’s great, but it’s really challenging. I wanted another avenue for local connections, so I thought, why not?”
Apparently, she wasn’t alone. Since launching in January with her co-organizer, Tracy Oliver, the group has grown to nearly 250 members. What has surprised her most isn’t the rapid growth but the gratitude.
“People are so appreciative to be able to connect with like-minded local people,” Baldwin says. “The most important thing is finding connection and community. I get to experience that every time we have a get-together.”
While romance is certainly welcome, it isn’t the only reason people attend.
“It’s probably fifty-fifty,” she says. “Some people are looking for a relationship, while others simply want friendship and people to do things with.”
That distinction feels increasingly important.
Human beings are wired for connection. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a circle of friends or simply having someone to grab coffee with on a Saturday morning, meaningful relationships help buffer stress and make life richer.
For anyone who has spent years single and feels discouraged, her advice is refreshingly simple.
“Get out there and connect,” she says. “You never know who or what might turn up. You may make a love connection, or you may find someone to spend quality time with.”
And if walking into a room full of strangers sounds intimidating?
“It’s hard the first time,” Baldwin admits. “But Tracy and I make it a point to greet everyone and make sure they feel welcome, and so do the other members. People seem to quickly fall into the group.”
For another option, Santa Cruz Singles Connect has grown to 467 members since March 2024. All ages are welcome, although administrator Jonathan Carter Schall says events tend to draw the 40-plus crowd. Originally created by Jessica Escobedo, the group is now managed by Schall and two additional administrators.
Activities range from movies and bowling to camping and whale watching, but Schall’s signature event is a monthly First Friday gallery and pub crawl. The group meets at the Blue Lagoon, checks the GoodTimes First Friday listings and collectively decides where to go from there. Attendance ranges from three to 15, with regulars mixing with newcomers. Look for the easel, or Schall, who describes himself as the well-dressed host.
For younger singles, Santa Cruz Speed Dating is a 152-member group catering primarily to ages 21–40, with events designed to bring local singles together face-to-face, no swiping required.
While romance can certainly enhance our well-being, genuine human connection, in whatever form it arrives, is one of the healthiest things we can cultivate.
If you go:
Santa Cruz 50+ Singles Social Meetup Group: Meetup.com Member ID 8996895
Santa Cruz Singles Connect: Facebook.com/groups/745395667659059/
Santa Cruz Speed Dating: Meetup.com Member ID 315708540
