Santa Cruz Expat’s Book Explains ‘Why We Left’

Janet Blaser feels it the minute she lands in an American airport. It’s like a discordant, all-enveloping buzz, a palpable tension in the air, a crackling, anxious energy. Like the constant hum of an air conditioner, it’s always there, everywhere.

Call it the vibe of living in the U.S.A.

“You get used to it if you’re living here,” Blaser says, sitting at a café table in the Santa Cruz sunshine. “But when you’re not living like that every day, it’s weird, very weird.”

Blaser was born in the U.S. and lived here most of her life. For close to 20 years, she was a writer, editor and community activist in Santa Cruz.

But in 2006, on the verge of turning 50, she left Santa Cruz and moved to Mazatlán, Mexico, alone and knowing no one. On the trip south in her packed-to-the-gills Toyota Echo, she cried herself to sleep in roadside hotel rooms, consumed with worry that she was making a disastrously wrong decision.

More than a dozen years later, she’s still in Mexico, happier than she has ever been. “I can’t imagine ever living in the U.S. again,” she says.

That line comes from the introduction of Blaser’s new book Why We Left: An Anthology of American Women Expats. It is also the dominant theme across the series of testimonials from 27 American women about their decision to take a one-way trip to Mexico.

The book features women from wildly different backgrounds, and different parts of the U.S., but their stories strike similar chords: the differences between life in the U.S. and life in Mexico are stark and transformative; many of the oppressive stresses of American life are absent, even if they are replaced by uniquely Mexican problems; the deprivations of living outside the U.S. are compensated by unexpected bounties; and, to quote cancer survivor Joanna Karlinsky, another writer in the collection, “I have no interest in going back to America. I left so I could recover, get back my lost energy and find myself again. And I have.”

OUTTA HERE

Why We Left articulates and makes real a common fantasy of many Americans, particularly those struggling to maintain a decent life among shifting economic realities or distressed by ugly and ruthless political developments: Can you find the American Dream by leaving America?

Blaser was a prominent and well-connected personality around Santa Cruz in the 1990s and into the 2000s, as a food columnist and feature writer for the Santa Cruz Sentinel and contributor to Good Times, as well as a representative of the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and manager of the downtown Santa Cruz farmer’s market.

In the mid 2000s, she found herself at an uncomfortable pivot point in her life. She was approaching 50. Her three children were grown, and she was feeling the pinch from the stresses of maintaining a career in journalism—a field that was shedding jobs—while dealing with the ever-increasing cost of living in Santa Cruz. She didn’t want to leave, but staying was becoming untenable. She was mulling making a move, maybe somewhere in inland California.

All this was on her mind when she took a long-planned vacation to Mazatlán, Mexico, a place she’d never been before. On her third day there, she visited the city’s historic Plaza Machado, a leafy and colorful downtown center that dates back to the early 19th century. Seeing the plaza was her first epiphany moment; she couldn’t escape a feeling of elation and enchantment.

“It was like coming home,” she says now.

The second epiphany came soon after, when she learned that there was no reliable English-language source of information about Mazatlán attractions and businesses for tourists, expats and seasonal “snowbirds.” What if she started a monthly magazine celebrating all things Mazatlán for an English-speaking audience?

“That’s when it went, ‘Ding! I know how to do this,’” Blaser says.

She returned to the U.S. with a crazy new plan to start over in Mazatlán. But leaving Santa Cruz—particularly her three adult children, Spike, Vrinda and Dennis—was more emotionally difficult than she had anticipated. The four-day drive from California through the Sonoran Desert to Mazatlán proved to be an ordeal of self-doubt and unpleasant surprises. She had two cell phones, neither of which worked. Any confidence gained from a year of learning Spanish evaporated pretty quickly in the Mexican sun.

The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months. The struggle was intense and the culture shock was profound. But eventually, Blaser found her footing, and even became grateful for the struggle. Her magazine idea took off and, as editor of M!, she assumed a central role in Mazatlan’s culture, a valuable link between the expat community and the locals.

“It’s definitely home now,” she says of Mexico, during a recent visit to Santa Cruz. “It’s a simple life. There’s something wonderful about constantly being humbled. I mean, I say I speak Spanish, but I’m not great at it. I speak like a cave person. Sometimes I think, ‘Jeez, I’m 63 years old and I can’t order a sandwich.’ But I think there is something really refreshing to the soul about that.”

Blaser’s story of moving to Mexico is included in her new book, but she didn’t want to focus primarily on her own experience. Instead, she wanted to collect other stories of American-born women who have emigrated.

“There are many ‘My Mexico Experience’ memoirs out there,” she says, “One person’s story wasn’t enough. For me, it was the breadth of experiences which was interesting and exciting.”

She drew from fellow expats whom she had met, but she also solicited submissions from the various Facebook groups of expats all over Mexico, which she estimates reach about 300,000 people. What she ended up with was more than two dozen essays, each a personally revealing account of what went into a life-altering decision.

The portraits that emerge of different regions of Mexico are often compelling and vivid. “I eat freshly cubed mango from the corner fruit vendor for less than a dollar,” says former South Carolinian Nova Grahl, who now lives in Guadalajara. “I hear the screeching of green parrots flying overhead.”

Former Florida resident Judy Whitaker now lives in El Golfo de Santa Clara at the very northern end of the Gulf of California. She regularly eats fish “fresh from the ocean, before it ever hits the fridge.” Of her life in Mexico, she writes, “Stress is a word not in my vocabulary.”

Almost all of the essays are careful not to paint Mexico as some sort of paradise. The drawbacks are plentiful: diffident bureaucrats, corrupt cops, scary insects, dangerous drinking water, having to do without such luxuries as gourmet dark chocolate and California wine. Many have a hard time adjusting to seeing a breadth of poverty unusual in the U.S.

SHATTERED STEREOTYPES

The stories in the new book operate from two seismic sociological assumptions, ideas that some Americans would openly resist or deny. The first is that whatever benefits, rewards and perks come with living as a citizen of the mighty United States of America, they might just come at too high a price for our mental and physical health, and to our sense of purpose and well-being. The second assertion is that Mexico, though not without its problems, is a nation of grace and beauty in which millions live abundant and fulfilling lives, many of those American expats. It’s a country, the book contends, that many Americans, perhaps influenced by inflammatory political rhetoric coming primarily from the White House, have gotten way wrong.

According to State Department statistics, there are about 9 million American citizens living as full-time residents in countries outside the U.S., and an estimated 1 million of those are in Mexico. Many Americans who have “permanent residence” status or otherwise live mostly in Mexico come with preconceived notions earned from a lifetime north of the border.

California-born Norma Schafer, who worked in academia in North Carolina, moved to Mexico in 2005 at the age of 58. She was drawn to Oaxaca by its distinctive textiles and natural dyes. But she first came to the region hampered by stereotypes that Mexico was primitive, its people were simple, that poverty, filth and crime were daily facts of life. In her experience, none of that turned out to be true.

“This place is very much like it used to be in rural America, when most people lived on farms, where people still work in small family enterprises,” says Schafer by Skype from her home in small village a few miles east of the city of Oaxaca. “I feel a huge sense of honor to be living in a traditional Zapotec village of 10,000 people who have been here for 8,000 years. I mean, these people discovered corn! Corn was first hybridized right up the road from where I live.”

Schafer still maintains a residence in the U.S. that allows her to vote and stay involved in the affairs of her native country. She says that she is baffled by some of the attitudes Americans have about Mexico. Recently, she hosted a small group of undergraduates from North Carolina State University to her sleepy, artistically inclined rural village. “Most of them said that their parents didn’t want them to come, that they had to beg their parents to let them come,” she says. “The one faculty member that was with them had to do a complete evacuation itinerary at every point of contact on the ground in case there was an emergency and the kids needed to get out.”

“Quite frankly, I feel much safer here,” says Susie Morgan Lellero, another contributor to Why We Left. Lellero first moved to Mazatlán in 1996 and stayed only for a few years. The isolation of that pre-Facebook, pre-Vonage age was too much for her and she left, only to return less than a decade later, this time to stay.

“It was the best, worst, hardest, most fun, most grueling time of my life,” she says via Skype of her first stint in Mazatlán. At 63, she’s semi-retired now, makes bagels for a small deli in her neighborhood and rides a Yamaha V-star motorcycle.

“In the U.S., I was basically going through the motions. But here, especially for a single girl, you have to be a scrapper. You do,” Morgan Lellero says. “Even now, it’s scary and lonely sometimes. But I’m a different person in the sense that I’m cognizant of the joys of living every day, seeing a green parrot fly by my window or finding a pineapple (plant) in my backyard.”

In collecting the stories of expat women in the book, Blaser thought she would run into a strong vein of political anti-American exhaustion or disappointment. “I had anticipated that there would be more women who would say, ‘Oh, when Trump was elected, that was it. I’m outta here,’ or had some other complaints about America. But that was really not the case.”

STREET EATS Much lower costs of living are one reason people may consider the expat lifestyle, but Blaser and contributors said culture and mental health can be even more important.
STREET EATS Much lower costs of living are one reason people may consider the expat lifestyle, but Blaser and contributors said a change in culture and issues like mental health can be even more important. PHOTO: MATT MAWSON

Many of the contributors instead talk about the seductions of Mexico, both culturally and environmentally, and certain priorities about the value of living. “It was like I was given the gift of new eyes,” is how writer Nova Grahl put it. Contributor Lina Weissman wrote of “a sense of wonder, of challenge, of peace.” Others talk of an elemental lifestyle that by comparison casts a bad light on the pressures of living in the U.S. “What we don’t do here,” writes contributor Virginia Saunders, “is sit in traffic, worry about how we’ll afford health insurance, or dread Mondays.”

Many of the essays delve into the financial benefits of moving to Mexico, and several claim to live comfortably on little more than Social Security benefits. “Here you can live for about $1,000 a month and live well enough,” said Norma Schafer. “But I’m of the belief that that should not be the first reason you choose to live in Mexico. The first reason should be the love of the art, the history, the architecture, the culture, the food. There are so many rich traditions here than Americans have no idea about.”

Now in her seventies, Schafer still travels across Mexico alone. “I’m trying to see more of the world before I can’t walk anymore.” (Schafer has a sister, Barbara Beerstein, who lives in Santa Cruz County and, ironically enough, she also has a burial plot in Santa Cruz.)

Many contributors in Why We Left make a point to declare their commitment to living in Mexico. Morgan Lellero, for example, is anything but ambivalent when it comes to the idea of coming back. “I pray to God,” she says, “that I never have to return to the United States. That would be a really sad day.”

For a significant part of the American electorate, suspicion or even open hostility to Mexicans in the United States has become a norm. For many of the contributors to Why We Left, the opposite is the case in Mexico for native-born Americans.

“It’s my experience that neighbors are very welcoming,” says Blaser of her expat status in her adopted country. “They are curious about us. They’ve been told that America is the Land of Milk and Honey, and they wonder, ‘Why would you ever want to leave that?’”

Points of Contention for Needle Exchange

6

One afternoon in September 2010, I was sorting plastic bottles for a man with a bedraggled beard who needed cash.

This was in Portland, Oregon, and I was working a grocery store job that I was thrilled to have, given that autumn’s lackluster economic recovery in the shadow of the Great Recession.

I was reaching into a shopping cart and tossing the bottles into various bins when I felt a prick on my fingertip and noticed a squirt of blood. In the bottom of the shopping cart, I spotted a dirty syringe. I gave a cash voucher to the man who’d brought the bottles in and told him he had some nerve leaving a used needle in a cart that he was passing over to me. He told me that he had no idea what I was talking about, that the needle wasn’t his.

“Hey, you should get yourself tested!” he shouted as I stormed back to the supermarket’s main building.

“Oh, ya think?” I yelled back.

Thankfully, the tests for Hepatitis and HIV came back negative.

Thinking back on the experience reminds me of a few lessons relevant to the debate over Santa Cruz County’s Syringe Services Program (SSP), also known as the needle exchange, which aims to prevent disease spread among injection drug users. First, the issues surrounding syringe waste are far from a Santa Cruz-only problem. That’s something supporters of syringe distribution have been keen to point out over the years. 

Another is that the risk of contracting a disease like HIV from a crusty needle is nearly nonexistent. It was something I knew at the time of my supermarket run in, and why it ultimately took me several months to get my final round of tests. But I was still scared, at least until I knew for sure that all the results were negative.

While the Santa Cruz County Board of Supervisors debated possible changes to the needle exchange earlier this month, District 3 Supervisor Ryan Coonerty said that accidental needle sticks have grown to be a health problem, and that public fear continues to grow. The county is over-emphasizing the aim of reducing the spread of disease, he said, at the expense of a separate goal to reduce litter. Coonerty added that the county should have a goal of no needles in public spaces. Parents and grandparents come up to him, he explained, and say that they will no longer take their kids to many public spaces because they saw a needle, or heard about one, at a beach or a park or a library.

“As the father of young children, there is no conversation I can have where, if my child steps on a needle, it’s OK because the relative chances of disease are small,” Coonerty, the board chair, said at a June 11 meeting.

SKIN DEEP

This month, supervisors voted 5-0 to take action on changes to the needle exchange program, including initiating a study to learn more about the actual number of needles the county is distributing—and how many it gets back. Supervisor Bruce McPherson noted that the number of unique individual clients has fallen 40% over the last four years, even while the number of syringes distributed has nearly tripled.

Part of that shift comes from a local group of volunteers called the Harm Reduction Coalition of Santa Cruz County, which gets needles from the SSP and distributes them off-site to a community of injection drug users. The coalition has been fending off controversy over its efforts, and though it filed an application with the state to expand services and create an official mobile exchange in Santa Cruz County that would be certified by California’s health department, it has since been withdrawn.

The Board of Supervisors also supported installing more syringe disposal kiosks throughout the county, with the approval of local cities. Coonerty will write a letter to neighboring jurisdictions about the proposal. After staff presents more analysis this fall, supervisors will look at making other changes, including possibly regulating the Harm Reduction Coalition’s independent exchanges and limiting the number of needles that individuals, including volunteers, can pick up from the county. To compensate, the board may expand the number of hours that the county’s SSP is open.

Over the past couple of years, the county has taken in 50% more needles, including the syringes collected at kiosks, than it has given out. Coonerty noted that when the Ross homeless encampment closed down, there were hundreds of needles on the ground and in the San Lorenzo River area, even though there was a kiosk just yards away.

He also called that the Coral Street area, where the Harm Reduction Coalition has been running needle distributions “a public policy failure,” since it’s near educational and summer programs. He compared it to “an open-air drug market.”

DEALING WITH IT

Research has not shown that more tightly regulated exchanges actually reduce litter waste.

Denise Elerick, the leader of the Harm Reduction Coalition, says needle litter does worry her, but she says that by keeping infections from spreading, syringe access reduces the risk that a given needle, discarded or not, will carry disease.

Arnold Leff, the county’s recently retired health services officer, says that the Harm Reduction Coalition has filled a major void after the county began cutting back hours for syringe distribution at its Emeline health campus.

“The majority of people who inject drugs today will not be injecting drugs in 10 years, if they survive,” says Leff, who retired at the end of May. “We need to recognize that a lot of these people who use drugs are our family members. And if we don’t provide safe treatment, they will develop Hepatitis C or HIV or something like [them], and that will spread into the community. Once they get over the hump, they can become tax-paying citizens. We need to help them get over the hump and also prevent them from doing personal damage.”

County administrators picked Leff’s successor Gail Newel, who the Board of Supervisors approved and who will step into her new role July 1.

On Sunday evenings in the Harvey West neighborhood, Ruthy, an injection drug user who asked GT not to use her last name, has been going to Coral Street near the Homeless Services. 

There, she meets with the Harm Reduction Coalition and gets clean syringes, sanitizing pads, a hot meal, and a hug. She says that she never would have shown up to the county’s official SSP hub at the Emeline Avenue health clinic for fear that she might get hassled by cops or public safety activists. Since she started going to the needle exchange, she’s learned not to reuse needles, even on her own body, because it can create abscesses. 

The abscesses she previously had on her body have now healed. For users like her, she says the exchange is the first step toward taking care of themselves, and hopefully getting clean.

“When you’re making these small moves to take care of yourself,” she says, “it changes into you wanting to take care of yourself even more.”

New E-Cigarette Rules Worry Vape Shops

This is part one of a two-part series on vaping. Part two runs next week. — Editor

At the Mission Street Rotten Robbie gas station, a normally colorful display behind the counter now sits empty. General manager Ken Lazier has taken flavored tobacco products off the shelves.

“A lot of people are coming in and asking, ‘You don’t have any of these?’” he says. “They think we’re sold out. And they just walk out the door.”

The store is making changes to follow new regulations on flavored nicotine laid out by the Santa Cruz City Council in the fall.

The council approved an ordinance banning the sale of flavored electronic cigarettes and liquids, as well as flavored tobacco products like cigarillos and flavored chewing and pipe tobacco. The county Board of Supervisors approved a similar ban this month, and the city of Capitola will consider a version on Thursday, June 27. Although the city of Santa Cruz’s ban has technically already gone into effect, enforcement won’t begin until 2020.

The goal of the policy is to keep nicotine from ending up in the hands of kids. Tara Leonard, an educator with the Santa Cruz County Tobacco Education and Prevention Program, says that flavored nicotine products appeal to children at a time when more youth are vaping than ever before, with a 78% increase between 2017 and 2018 at the national level.

“This is a relatively new product, and we really don’t know yet what the long-term effects are going to be,” she says. “We absolutely know that these devices are attractive to youth.”

But once enforcement begins, businesses are going to take a big hit, says Jaime Rojas of the National Association of Tobacco Outlets (NATO). “It’s not just tobacco sales,” Rojas explains. Businesses also stand to lose revenue from snacks and everything else that customers buy when they come in to pick up their favorite e-cigarette flavors. NATO represents more than half of all tobacco-selling businesses in Santa Cruz County, including Rotten Robbie.

Rojas says that he asked Santa Cruz County officials for an economic impact report to show how much sales tax would be lost if the now-passed ordinance were to take effect. The county declined. In San Rafael—a community smaller than the city of Santa Cruz, with 59,000 people—city staff estimated that a similar proposed ban on the sale of flavored tobacco products could result in a loss of up to $100,000 in sales tax revenue annually.

In communities with similar bans, stores like Rotten Robbie typically lose 20% of their overall business, Rojas says. For vape shops, he says that number rises to 50-70%.

At Green Vapors in downtown Santa Cruz, flavored nicotine “e-liquids” represent 60-70% of the overall business, says Nolan Abreu, the shop’s manager, who argues that the products also help smokers get off cigarettes.

Abreu and other vape shop employees, like Caine McClelland, owner of Santa Cruz Vapors, say they’ve always been serious about asking for identification before selling anyone e-cigarettes and flavors, and that they never sell to anyone under the age of 21. Damon Hancock, the tobacco compliance officer for the Santa Cruz County Sheriff’s Office, said at an April 11 meeting that the county has not seen a major problem with local stores selling to minors.

Lazier, Abreu and Rojas all believe that a prohibition on flavored tobacco products in Santa Cruz County will only create an underground economy for tobacco products. “Vaping won’t be as controlled, and people are still going to do it. There will be a black market,”  says Abreu. “Prohibition never works. It won’t work this time around.”

Others have pointed out that the industries of flavored alcohol drinks and flavored cannabis also often appear to be marketing themselves as kid-friendly with colorful branding and large, edgy fonts. Leonard, from the county, says that she can’t comment on any of that, as her purview is tobacco.

If the county loses tax revenue once the flavor ban goes into effect, she anticipates that, “We will be saving much more in health care and other expenses.”

The county Board of Supervisors unanimously approved its new rules last spring, followed by the Santa Cruz City Council in November.

When it comes to ramping up enforcement, the county “will give retailers six months,” Leonard says. “Plenty of time to sell their entire stock.”

Fired From KSCO, Georgia “Peach” Finds New Alt-Right Audience

After losing her local platform for spewing vitriol about “white genocide,” former KSCO radio host Georgia “Peach” Beardslee has resurfaced—not on another right-wing show on the Central Coast, but on an anti-Semitic online broadcast from the Middle East.

“It’s a beautiful day here in Bolshevik, communist-run Santa Cruz,” Beardslee said during a May 18 interview on Inside the Eye—Live! with Dennis Fetcho (aka “The Fetch”), who says he’s a U.S. expat in Amman, Jordan. “I kinda feel like I’m coming out of the closet today.”

Beardslee’s return to far-right broadcasting came just after her former boss of eight years, KSCO 1080 AM Owner Michael Zwerling, used his May 4 show to address the aftermath of a late April decision to end her twice-weekly program. “Because of my and our commitment to free speech, I allowed a monster to be created on the radio station,” the owner said. Zwerling, who is Jewish, insisted that Beardslee had “changed,” and that allegations of promoting hate speech “had become a distraction.”

Staff at KSCO, Zwerling added, have faced a range of abuse. “Stinking, miserable, bleeping, Jew, gay, slimeball, crook,” he said of the backlash. “Never did I expect such unbelievable nastiness and personal slurs.”

He didn’t get any sympathy from the former host of KSCO Presents: Georgia.

“I wouldn’t shed one tear if someone did something dastardly to KSCO, the anti-white radio station,” Beardslee said in her May 18 interview.

Beardslee, who goes by @peachescapitola on Twitter, speaks with a grandmotherly voice that at first almost makes it seem like her schtick could be an extreme act of performance art for notoriously liberal Santa Cruz. In a prime example of the hellscape of online posturing, the host who traffics in conspiracy theories and race baiting said of KSCO that, “These sub-humans are never fair … The most woke people were [on] my show.”

The host won fans among other extremist pundits like The Fetch, who called her “one of the great voices” for “European diaspora politics.” He praised Beardslee’s efforts to “re-moralize” Santa Cruz while employed by “a Jewish-owned and operated station in KSCO.”

What’s that old saying about the crazy racist snake coming back to bite you?

SHOW OFF

Nuz’s ears perked up last week when Thomas Cussins, co-owner of the new Felton Music Hall, told GT that Grateful Dead tribute bands make a great fit for the beloved San Lorenzo Valley music venue once known as Don Quixote’s. You might even say it was—sorry we can’t resist—music to our ears

Now, don’t get the wrong idea—we’re not “dead heads” or anything. Seriously, our idea of an acid trip is a walk to the corner store to buy a quart of orange juice, and our favorite teddy bear is Fozzie from the Muppets. But we do know the county’s music scene. It so happens that the joint’s previous owner Bradd Barkan—who changed the venue’s name from Don Quixote’s to Flynn’s Cabaret and Steakhouse—showed signs of steering away from the alt-country, psychedelic rock and world music vibes that made the space special. Before launching in late 2017, he told GT that he wanted to bring in different kinds of acts and threw shade at the approach of longtime booker Tom Miller, who left for a job at Michael’s on Main. Barkan said he wanted his spot to be, “a nice, high-quality five-star restaurant” with music. After a year and a half in business, Barkan, a realtor by trade, surely discovered how tough the industry really is. It’s a lesson he must’ve learned the hard way, since he took out the biggest loan in Santa Cruz Community Credit Union history, according to an advertisement that ran in a September 2018 issue of GT.

Felton doesn’t need the biggest band names or the juiciest steaks. It simply longs for good music from a reliable venue that can stay above water. Cussins, who’s known locally for his work booking the Catalyst, says he’s ready to give the people what they want.

Love Your Local Band: Grand Larson

There’s a lot going on in Grand Larson’s debut EP released last year, simply titled E.P. It’s got dingy funk, bluesy grooves, jazzy licks, and rock ’n’ roll attitude. But what sticks amid all this genre overload is a band clearly interested in older music, and smashing it all together into something new.

“The stuff I like predates 1978. I grew up on the Allman Brothers, Cream, Hendrix, Pink Floyd—a lot of the British Invasion blues bands,” says guitarist/singer Tyler Larson.

The grit and soul of the group has a distinctly rustic ’70s rock sound, which seems the most natural. But all six songs on the E.P. have an easy, laid-back groove that holds together nicely.

The idea behind the group was experimental. When Larson and bassist Duncan Shipton started working on songs, they were aiming to mix hip-hop beats with folk instrumentation.

“The hip-hop drumming style is super, super tight,” Larson explains. “Then this more loosey ethereal guitar part that you can overlay over the drums.” 

The band had a different drummer at the time these songs were recorded, who was pretty focused on the hip-hop beat. Now sitting in is Rowan Decosse-Graves, a diverse player who brings a distinctly jazz element to his beats. It’s a subtle difference, but one that’s noticeable on Grand Larson’s new material.

8:30 p.m. Thursday, June 27. Moe’s Alley, 1535 Commercial Way, Santa Cruz. $8 adv/$12 door. 479-1854.

Rob Brezsny’s Astrology June 26-July 2

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: Discipline your inner flame. Use your radiance constructively. Your theme is controlled fire. August: Release yourself from dwelling on what’s amiss or off-kilter. Find the inspiration to focus on what’s right and good. September: Pay your dues with joy and gratitude. Work hard in service to your beautiful dreams. October: You can undo your attractions to “gratifications” that aren’t really very gratifying. November: Your allies can become even better allies. Ask them for more. December: Be alert for unrecognized value and hidden resources.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: If you choose to play one of life’s trickier games, you must get trickier yourself. August: Shedding irrelevant theories and unlearning old approaches will pave the way for creative breakthroughs. September: Begin working on a new product or project that will last a long time. October: Maybe you don’t need that emotional crutch as much as you thought. November: Explore the intense, perplexing, interesting feelings until you’re cleansed and healed. December: Join forces with a new ally or deepen an existing alliance.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: It’s time to take fuller advantage of a resource you’ve been neglecting or underestimating. August: For a limited time only, two plus two equals five. Capitalize on that fact by temporarily becoming a two-plus-two-equals-five-type of person. September: It’s time and you’re ready to discover new keys to fostering interesting intimacy and robust collaboration. October: The boundaries are shifting on the map of the heart. That will ultimately be a good thing. November: If you do what you fear, you’ll gain unprecedented power over the fear. December: What’s the one thing you can’t live without? Refine and deepen your relationship to it. 

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: Acquire a new personal symbol that thrills your mind and mobilizes your soul. August: Reconfigure the way you deal with money. Get smarter about your finances. September: It’s time to expedite your learning. But streetwise education is more useful than formal education. Study the book of life. October: Ask for more help than you normally do. Aggressively build your support. November: Creativity is your superpower. Reinvent any part of your life that needs a bolt of imaginative ingenuity. December: Love and care for what you imagine to be your flaws and liabilities.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: Transform something that’s semi-ugly into something that’s useful and winsome. August: Go to the top of the world and seek a big vision of who you must become. September: Your instinct for worthy and constructive adventures is impeccable. Trust it. October: Be alert for a new teacher with a capacity to teach you precisely what you need to learn. November: Your mind might not guide you perfectly, but your body and soul will. December: Fresh hungers and budding fascinations should alert you to the fact that deep in the genius part of your soul, your master plan is changing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: I’d love to see you phase out wishy-washy wishes that keep you distracted from your burning, churning desires. August: A story that began years ago begins again. Be proactive about changing the themes you’d rather not repeat. September: Get seriously and daringly creative about living in a more expansive world. October: Acquire a new tool or skill that will enable you to carry out your mission more effectively. November: Unanticipated plot twists can help heal old dilemmas about intimacy. December: Come up with savvy plans to eliminate bad stress and welcome good stress.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: Say this every morning: “The less I have to prove and the fewer people I have to impress, the smarter I’ll be.” August: Escape an unnecessary limitation. Break an obsolete rule. Override a faded tradition. September: What kind of “badness” might give your goodness more power? October: You’re stronger and freer than you thought you were. Call on your untapped power. November: Narrowing your focus and paring down your options will serve you beautifully. December: Replace what’s fake with the Real Thing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: Stretch yourself. Freelance, moonlight, diversify, and expand. August: Having power over other people is less important than having power over yourself. Manage your passions like a wizard! September: Ask the big question. And be ready to act expeditiously when you get the big answer. October: I think you can arrange for the surge to arrive in manageable installments. Seriously. November: Dare to break barren customs and habits that are obstructing small miracles and cathartic breakthroughs. December: Don’t wait around hoping to be given what you need. Instead, go after it. Create it yourself, if necessary. 

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: Can you infuse dark places with your intense light without dimming your intense light? Yes! August: It’s time for an archetypal Sagittarian jaunt, quest or pilgrimage. September: The world around you needs your practical idealism. Be a role model who catalyzes good changes. October: Seek out new allies and connections that can help you with your future goals. November: Be open to new and unexpected ideas so as to get the emotional healing you long for. December: Shed old, worn-out self-images. Reinvent yourself. Get to know your depths better. 

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: You have an enhanced capacity to feel at peace with your body, to not wish it were different from what it naturally is. August: You can finally solve a riddle you’ve been trying to solve for a long time. September: Make your imagination work and play twice as hard. Crack open seemingly closed possibilities. October: Move up at least one rung on the ladder of success. November: Make yourself more receptive to blessings and help that you have overlooked or ignored. December: You’ll learn most from what you leave behind—so leave behind as much as possible.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: I’ll cry one tear for you, then I’ll cheer. August: Plant seeds in places that hadn’t previously been on your radar. September: You may seem to take a wrong turn, but it’ll take you where you need to go. October: Open your mind and heart as wide as you can. Be receptive to the unexpected. November: I bet you’ll gain a new power, higher rank or greater privilege. December: Send out feelers to new arrivals who may be potential helpers. 

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Here are your fortune cookie-style horoscopes for the months ahead. July: Your creative powers are at a peak. Use them with flair. August: Wean yourself from pretend feelings and artificial motivations and inauthentic communications. September: If you want to have greater impact and more influence, you can. Make it happen! October: Love is weird but good. Trust the odd journey it takes you on. November: If you cultivate an appreciation for paradox, your paradoxical goals will succeed. December: Set firm deadlines. Have fun disciplining yourself.

Homework: What were the circumstances in which you were most vigorously alive? freewillastrology.com.

Bad Sleep’s Punk Awakening

Lily Richeson didn’t find punk. Punk found her.

“Someone handed me a weird flyer at the mall in the suburbs, and here I am,” says the singer of Olympia punk band Bad Sleep.

This week, the band plays Santa Cruz’s anarchist bookstore SubRosa on a tour supporting its debut album. The self-titled record plays like the Thermals gone riot grrl, filled with scrappy, vulnerable pop-punk anthems about life, love and science fiction. Barely clocking in at 20 minutes, Bad Sleep is a testament to the enduring power of good, raw, honest punk.

“So much of my adolescent joy was from discovering DIY punk and being like, ‘What is in this room? What is happening?’” says Richeson.

Richeson is now an active part of that world, connected to her fellow musicians through a DIY network of community spaces, fanzines and small labels.

“It’s totally an access point,” she says. “You just kind of stay in it if you’re committed to it, and the community. I want to play music and create art, but also want to be connecting with other people who are doing like-minded things and have like-minded politics.”

Before starting Bad Sleep, Richeson was living in Boston. She had toured the country in the band Parasol and got a taste for the national underground scene. After visiting Olympia on tour, she decided she liked its scene enough to move.

“I kinda knew Cailey, the drummer, through punk,” she says. “I had just moved to town and was without a project, but I was like, ‘I have these songs. They’re cheesy pop songs. Do you want to hear them?’ I was super nervous. But she was like, ‘Totally!’”

In 2016, Bad Sleep emerged out of Olympia’s vibrant underground scene with a five-song 7 inch. Jammed with concise power-pop nuggets like “Bad Rep” (which squeezes three choruses and two guitar solos into less than two minutes), the 7 inch was the first sound of a promising new band. The next year, they followed it with the No Fun cassette. More punk than its predecessor, No Fun signaled a step away from power-pop, and a step toward the riot grrl roots of their hometown.

“I’m kind of a nerd about bands from Olympia,” Richeson says. “Even though I’ve only lived here for four years, the music that I love and grew up listening to is from here.”

After a European tour in 2017, the band hooked up with UK label Specialist Subject, and began planning an album. In the summer of 2018, the group took to the studio. Then, life got in the way.

“Our bass player moved away literally a week after we got done recording,” says Richeson.

The timing was unfortunate, as it came on the tails of Bad Sleep’s strongest release so far.

The album kicks off in high gear, opening on a riff that recalls the Exploding Hearts’ “I’m a Pretender.” On album highlight “Don’t Have To,” Richeson turns on the spigot, letting flow all the anger building from years of interactions with men’s rights activists, incels and otherwise terrible dudes: “I don’t wanna tell you my name, there’s nothing wrong with my personality/ It’s you that sees me and the world around you like something is owed, like I have no value,” she sings, her words coming to a froth and pouring over into the chorus of “Ooo, I don’t have to.”

It’s a powerful, confrontational moment, exhilarating in its honesty. While punk has changed a lot in the last 40 years, there is still something to be said for an honest statement delivered with volume and passion.

“I feel a little like I’m aging out—which is ridiculous because I’m only 31,” she says now. “A lot of my friends have been doing this for 10 years longer than me, and they’re still doing it. They’re like, ‘Shut up, wait till you’re 40.’”

Bad Sleep performs at 8 p.m. on Saturday, June 29, at SubRosa, 703 Pacific Ave., Santa Cruz. $7. 426-5242.

Cancer, Sign of the Teacher: Risa’s Stars June 26 – July 2

The energies of the planets circling the Sun, from the moon to Pluto, have a deep and lasting effect on humanity. The present Pluto/Saturn/South Node configuration in Capricorn is reorienting humanity from the past to the present and presenting humanity (individually, nationally and globally) with a bare-bones reality. There is a feeling of no comfort. Experiences are harsh, difficult and challenging. This will continue for the next year.

A good mantra to recite during these times of change is, “May all hindrances be removed, and may I integrate all that is new.” Pluto transforms us. Saturn restructures us. The South Node brings the past to the present. Changes are coming. Using the mantra helps us to prepare for the changes with calmness, equanimity and poise.

Opposite the South Node is the North Node (presently in Cancer), where the new realities come forth. It is our new pathway. Cancer provides us with nurturance and a new birth. Chiron is in Aries. Humanity is newly identifying as Souls. Asking what is our real and true identity? Note in the media the words “identity politics.” The media always reflects inner realities. The U.S. sun is in Cancer, with a birthday soon (July 4).

The sign of Cancer is reflective, fluid, preparing us for self-knowledge in Leo. Cancer is the moon’s house. The month of Cancer is dedicated to teachers of wisdom. The Teacher, like the moon, reflects the rays of the sun. Cancer distributes Rays 3 (divine intelligence) and 7 (anchoring the teachings upon the Earth).

The month of Cancer (sign) is thus dedicated to the teacher (soul, guru, God the father, Christ, the teachings, etc.) Students are called to rededicate themselves to the teacher (whomever one learns from) or the wisdom teachings, because Jupiter (higher expanded learning) is exalted in Cancer.

ARIES: A revelatory idea, dream or vision held long in your heart and mind, perhaps for years, is emerging more and more into form and matter, about to manifest. The next seven years, which seems like a long time but is only a blink in the eye of God/Buddha, will forth what you’ve longed for, hoped would occur, envisioned. It emerges due to your persistence, belief, faith, and love. Be sure all of it is shared.

TAURUS: You never lose sight of your vision or of tasks you are to perform. No matter what occurs—surprising events, losses, people, ideas, and hopes falling away—you know that love underlies all happenings of the times. This love isn’t from a person, but from greater realities guiding and directing our lives. You are to focus now only on what’s in front of you. Also, choices (and events) made during this time may reverse. Mercury retro is soon.

GEMINI: Your thoughts, ideas and communications return somewhat, though not fully. This last month just about everything mental deserted your ability to understand and be understood. Mercury is retro soon remaining behind the scenes. Misinterpretations slowly may turn around and long lost friends may call (again). Actions for the next month remain obscure in order that you plan and choose to externalize all actions. Notice you keep a lot to yourself.

CANCER: You think about, ponder upon and consider goals for the coming months. They are bound up with expectations you have about life and your ideals. Up to this point, the goals and expectations of the past have served you. However, life has changed so radically that newer and freer points of view are forming. This is also due to influences of friends, colleagues, family, community, and nature all around.

LEO: Bringing forth your creativity is most important now. What you create constitutes your real professional life. They are closest to your heart, they define the qualities and gifts that best assist others and Earth’s kingdoms, and if you continue, your creativity (and you) will improve more and more. What studies have you put off that you know must be initiated soon? Greater mastery is yours should you pursue it.

VIRGO: You are thinking deeply so you can have better perspective. Mortality (the idea of death, what death means, the reality of life after death) is something you will think about in the coming months. This is a healthy response to the changes occurring on our planet at this time. There is an underground river of communication occurring between you and others. It’s not verbal or externalized. Fill that river with love.

LIBRA: This is a special time of communication for you, wherein you can begin to explain to intimates (family, friends, etc.) choices you have made and what has concerned you deeply. Do not go into anything new without consulting loved ones. It’s best to have another’s input providing perspective. This helps you clarify, choose and accomplish more than you would alone. Discuss everything. You need love and care. This comes from open communication.

SCORPIO: Most of us think we have free will. We do, to an extent. We can choose what we do each day, somewhat. We can choose how we behave, sometimes. We can think about who we want to live with and where we live, sometimes. But really, it’s best to be more fluid, to know we have very little free choice, and to discover what that greater reality is that hovers, surrounds and penetrates our little lives. Make its acquaintance.

SAGITTARIUS: Great opportunities seem to appear in your life in their own time and place. Be aware of this; however, don’t expect anything specific. That’s a paradox, but it’s true and real and practical. Listen to all communications, from yourself and others, assessing carefully. Messages could wound, uplift, destroy, deny, or be a refuge (sangha). The latter is greatly needed by everyone at this time. Which will (can) you choose? Which do you need?

CAPRICORN: In your daily (successful, ambitious) life, you might find yourself in two places at once. Your mind is here and your body over there somewhere. This is the Gemini experience in the daily life of everyone. You will attempt to bring a synthesis to this duality. Amidst the constant changing events, amidst the vicissitudes and instability of our present times, you will find poise, balance and harmony. This is the soul. Call upon it each moment.

AQUARIUS: It’s best to be among the young and playful, the innocent and childlike, the romantic and creative. Then you will become all of these, too, and discover new outlets of art and creativity and interests. You’ll see things in a newer, more golden light, and your imagination will flow outward making your entire life a place of happiness and joy. Often you’re toiling among daily home needs. At this time, just be the artist and futurist you’re called to be.

PISCES: Know that everyone and everything in your environments supports you. Show that you trust them, and give them gratitude for being in your life at this very moment and all the moments to come. Something’s coming to an end. A new life will be built from the ashes of the old – a new community that creates the foundation for newer and greater achievements. Bid the old farewell. It served its purpose well. Now you have new promises to keep.

New Indexical Residency Backs Experimental Music

Sometimes an artistic subculture emerges in a particular time and place spontaneously, like a patch of weeds. Other times, it needs cultivation.

When it comes to Santa Cruz and its long relationship with avant-garde and experimental music, the newest cultivator is a nonprofit called Indexical, which began in Brooklyn but relocated to Santa Cruz in 2015. 

Indexical is planning to make noise in town this summer with an intriguing concert at the Kuumbwa Jazz Center, a vocal workshop at Henry Cowell State Park and an ambitious collaborative project to take place outside on West Cliff Drive.

“Our basic goal with Indexical,” explains Andrew Smith, the organization’s executive director, “is to create an experimental music scene here and to be a resource to help it grow. We also want to connect musicians in Santa Cruz with people in other cities, and bring people from other cities to Santa Cruz to give them a chance to experience this town.”

One of those people is Indexical’s first artist in residence, Mexico-born experimental vocalist Carmina Escobar, who leads a Mexico City ensemble and is on the faculty of the California Institute of the Arts (CalArts). On June 29, Escobar kicks off her residency with a workshop and performance outdoors at Henry Cowell called The Voices from Within Into the World. The all-day workshop (11 a.m. to 7 p.m.) will explore the dimension of the human voice in space through games, exercises and improv activitIes.

Escobar will then turn her attention to the creation of a site-specific work called Feast of Beams: Keeper of Light in collaboration with local artists and Indexical curators Madison Heying and Laura Steenberge, to take place at Lighthouse Point on West Cliff Drive on Saturday, Aug. 10. 

“There will be multiple things happening,” says Smith, around the lighthouse, the field, along West Cliff and on the beach as well. Carmina’s vision is to basically pull everyone together. She’s been using the word ‘converge.’ All of these works are to converge at the end of this piece to create some kind of communal experience at the lighthouse.”

On July 27, Indexical will present a concert by vocalist and composer Amirtha Kidambi and her group Elder Ones at the Kuumbwa Jazz Center. Of Kidambi, Smith says, “Her idea is to fuse black protest music as it came out of the free jazz tradition with Hindustani and Carnatic music, which were influential in her development.”

From the Cabrillo Music Festival to New Music Works to the UC Santa Cruz music department, Santa Cruz has engaged with various styles of avant-garde and contemporary-classical music for decades. Indexical began in New York in 2011. Smith, a composer in his own right, said that he and Indexical’s operations director David Kant relocated to Santa Cruz to work with UCSC composer and musician Larry Polansky. Smith and Kant found potential for building a musical community in Santa Cruz.

“We saw that people in Santa Cruz have some context for experimental music and for contemporary-classical music, but we felt we could expand it a little bit,” says Smith. “Santa Cruz has this context and this community of artists, but didn’t necessarily have the producing organizations to allow people to try out new ideas throughout the year.”

Since its relocation, Indexical has produced several events with a variety of artists, mostly in small venues like the Radius Gallery at the Tannery and Wind River studios in the Santa Cruz Mountains. The aim, says Smith, is to give artists the room to experiment without having to worry about the commercial implications of high-profile concerts.

“You need more things happening on a smaller scale. You get some energy built up and you do a lot of things that might not work,” Smith says. “But the things that do work end up being bigger projects.”

He says that Santa Cruz audiences have responded well to Indexical’s plans, and that the organization’s budget, drawn from local donations, has quadrupled in size. He also said that Indexical is considering the idea of opening its own venue. 

“The last year has been incredible. We’re now at the point where we’re hiring three full- or part-time staff members to really increase the capacity of the organization to take on some significantly more ambitious projects.”

For more information on Indexical, its concerts or the June 29 workshop with artist-in-residence Carmina Escobar, go to indexical.org.

Primal Santa Cruz Reopens as Vida

Spun slightly, Primal Santa Cruz has re-awakened as Vida, with a new brunch menu that expands its appeal.

This menu is all gluten-free, and now comes with table service—what a treat for diners trained to ask whether a dish is GF or not. They can now order at will from a short but creative listing of brunch items loaded with intriguing spices, fresh veggies and intelligent design. Vida looks good—plants, pale wood banquettes and tables, polished concrete floors, bold artwork—but it’s not overdone. 

The evolving brainchild of Jason Morgan, who opened Primal late last year, this restaurant is closing in on its true identity—one that reflects how we live and eat right now on the Central Coast. Bread-free breakfasts filled with flavor and visual appeal are no longer just a fantasy. 

A breakfast “salad” involved colorful arugula, avocado, red and golden beets, all tossed in a delicious seed-and-macadamia-nut dressing with a perfect fried egg for $12 (though it might be nice to stack all those items instead of forming a ring of veggies around the egg). My companion’s very large plate with a grass-fed burger on a GF sesame seed bun—nice brioche-like texture, topped with local cheddar and wonderful caramelized onions—arrived alongside seriously addictive plantain chips, green salad and an acreage of delicious fresh pickles ($18). A pot of fukamushi green tea ($4) and a bracing Americano ($3) made it our major meal of the day. 

The Vida menu offers tons of creative plates—breakfast tacos, fried chicken and waffles, cast iron hash, sweet potato pancakes—priced from $10-18. It would help build a larger fanbase to include a few simple morning favorites like eggs and bacon; or even, yes, an avocado toast. I love watching this place evolve to match the time and the place. Kudos to Morgan and team.

Vida, 1203 Mission St., Santa Cruz. Open daily 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

Vintage Harmony

Food by India Jozseph Schultz filled the long, long picnic table at the recent New Music Works Avant Garden Party. And to join it—on one of the hottest afternoons of the month—were two wines that pleased the partiers. One was the chilled, dry, crisp La Playita Estate Gruner Veltliner 2015 from Alfaro Family Vineyards. The other was a lovely pink Vin Gris Rosé 2016 from Birichino. Like pale strawberries, lime and chalk, it’s quite refreshing. You can taste the compelling GV from Alfaro at the upcoming July Winemaker Dinner at Persephone in Aptos, with the winemaker in residence fresh from a recent trip to Italy.

Field Flavors

The atmospheric al fresco dinner to support the Homeless Garden Project was gorgeous as always with the fields, the folks, the food. But my taste buds told me that I was experiencing something rather special at the recent Sustain Supper with appetizers by Peter Henry from the Cremer House, especially the BBQ smoked brisket on corn johnny cakes with collard greens. Big flavors and sensuous textures made this my top app, paired with a well-balanced Santa Lucia Highlands Pinot Noir from Hallcrest Vineyards.

I also loved a tangy salad of farm greens with strawberries, snap peas, radishes, and feta in a tart lemon vinaigrette by Monique Plossl from The Glass Jar empire. The sweet, the crunch and the salty feta all made for true bites of summer. Desserts from chef Laci Sandoval of Wind & Rye were beautiful; nothing topped her densely creamy chocolate espresso tart inflected with candied orange zest and sea salt. Easily one of the most sophisticated desserts this side of the macaron from Alderwood.

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