Eddie Jauregui has been setting up a table on Pacific Avenue every day for the past three years to sell stones wrapped in wire. The 21-year-old street vendor has lived in Santa Cruz most of his life. Creating DIY jewelry, he says, has provided him a way to connect with other people. His trips downtown as a child inspired him to pursue art, he tells GT, clutching a wire-cutter in his right hand and a wire-wrapped amazonite stone in his left, while people stop to admire his collection. But in a few weeks, Jaureguiโs sidewalk jewelry sales will become illegal under a city law adopted by the Santa Cruz City Council on a unanimous vote last month. Street vending rules have been in fluctuation for more than a decade. On Pacific Avenue, the city has had โexempt zones,โ since December 2014, allowing people to table and perform within painted boxes on the sidewalk without being hassled or ticketed by police. Originally, there were 63 color-coded zones on Pacificโsome for political tabling and others for performing. The city later cut the number of zones by more than half, and chose not to distinguish their uses. The latest rule update, which goes into effect later this month, increases the number of blue boxes from 27 to 30. The problem is that โcommercial vendingโ has never been allowed on Pacific Avenue. The new law has specifically defined the practice as it hadnโt ever been before. Scott Collins, assistant to the city manager, says the old language was too vague and didnโt provide police officers and downtown hosts a concrete sense on what constituted commercial vending versus First Amendment-protected freedom of expression. โFrom a legal perspective, if we wrote a ticket for commercial activity, the judge would throw it out,โ says Collins, who helped draft the ordinance. โWe were seeking a way to uphold something council approved long before this.โ Collins arguesโas does Chip, the executive director of the Downtown Associationโthat the atmosphere downtown has transformed into one that is less friendly to tourists and business owners. Collins calls it a โflea market effect.โ Vendors like Jauregui assert that the โspirit of Santa Cruzโ is in danger, and that downtown is known for its unique vendors. He sees himself as an artist whoโs trying to โspread positive vibesโ and share his love for stones with the community. โWhen I was growing up, I was inspired and looked at Santa Cruz as this art hub, as being a place of inspiration for artists, and I feel like theyโre trying to destroy the spirit of Santa Cruz,โ says Jauregui. โWeโre just here doing art and being positive, I donโt see why they want to stop us.โ The new rule lists crystals, rocks and geodes among the 22 items that constitute the now-outlawed โcommercial vending.โ The list ranges from auto parts to stuffed animals. Itโs essentially anything that has โmore than nominal utility,โ according to the law. โWhat has happened over the years is that anyone can come and sell anything and say itโs artistic expression,โ says Chip. โThere is no legal standing to say whether or not it is, so the sidewalk has become overfilled with people selling all types of things.โ Vendors will still be allowed to sell items they created themselvesโlike books, paintings and photographsโwithin the exempt zones. The main issue here is a concern about fairness, Collins says. Homemade jewelry poses more competition to brick-and-mortar businesses, he says, than people selling one-of-a-kind pieces of art would. โBusiness owners pay significant rent and overhead, things that benefit our community, and at the same time you have individuals selling the same items,โ says Collins. City and business leaders have grappled with defining what is and isnโt art, because courts have often supported an individualโs right to sell oneโs artwork as a form of artistic expression, protected under the First Amendment. Councilmember Micah Posner doesnโt see wire-wrapped stones and crystals, for instance, as particularly creative. โThe quality of artistic expression on Pacific Avenue has gone downhill, and so in my mind, most of what I see downtown isnโt very inspiring,โ says Posner. โPeople are wrapping geodes and calling it jewelry.โ At the same time, while Posner understands business ownersโ concerns, he doubts they are losing money as a result of street vendors. Henry Pikoos, owner of World of Stones and Mystics, has been in the stone-game for 35 years and opened his downtown location two years ago. While he doesnโt like the idea of โguys selling crystals and stones while I pay taxes,โ he admits the news of the law passing made him feel heartsick. โThe guys out there, theyโre not conforming, but theyโre out there trying to make a buck to survive, so this is going to have a dramatic effect on them and I feel for them,โ says Pikoos, whose business is on Front Street. โTo be honest,โ he adds, โI donโt think it really ever affected my business.โ
The Redwood Mountain Faire is one of the annual highpoints for laid-back locals who love to dance, mingle, eat, drink, check out local arts and crafts, and not have to find daycare for the kids. A family-friendly event that showcases the thriving mountain music scene, the faire seems to get better each year, with a lineup that nicely balances standout local bands with big-name, nationally touring acts. This year is no exception. From the morning warm-up acts through the headliners, the Faireโs lineup of 22 bands promises to keep festival-goers dashing from stage to stage to catch as many acts as possible. Whether you prefer kicking back in the shade while listening to some high lonesome picking, or kicking up dust to the hottest funk and dance groups around, the Redwood Mountain Faire has you covered. The event is again presented by the Valley Womenโs Club, who have been putting it on for decades, and benefits local nonprofits and service organizations so you can do some good while you get your groove on. The fantastic Los Angeles-based funk and soul group Orgone headlines Saturday, and the rest of the day is packed full of great music. Other Saturday acts include progressive bluegrass act Hot Buttered Rum, Bay Area jam band Shady Groove, the rocking blues of Harpin Jonny & Friends, our beloved Banana Slug String Band, contemporary funk band Polyrhythmics, Portland-based rocker Scott Pemberton, classic soul outfit Pawn Shop Soul, local reggae group Soulwise, Americana band Heathen Hill, and rockers Scary Little Friends. Headlining Sunday is the fabulous 20-piece, carnival-style party band MarchFourth. The dayโs stellar lineup also includes Lake Tahoe-based indie-roots act Dead Winter Carpenters, long-running Latin music favorites the B-Side Players, local roots band Sharon Allen & the Dusty Boots, Bay Area standout the Sam Chase, Americana jam band Scott Cooper & the Barrelmakers, local folk trio the Painted Horses, musical collaborative Rainbow Girls, alt-rock cover band Zebra 3, Grammy-nominated roots band Yarn, and pop/soul band Joy & Madness.
INFO: 11 a.m. Saturday & Sunday June 4 & 5 at Roaring Camp, 5401 Graham Hill Road, Felton. More information: redwoodmountainfaire.com.
Thereโs a natural rhythm to the way newlywed comedians Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher communicate. Something floating in the nuance that makes it hyperreal and on point. Remember the way Elaine May and Mike Nichols rolled out improvised conversations that at once seemed completely normal, but, on slightly closer inspection, were riddled with dark humor? That same spirit, of couples collaborating to subvert a dominant paradigm, infuses the work of Leggero and Kasher. While they may not yet be household names, their upcoming show in Santa Cruz will be undoubtedly unforgettable. Making his name in San Francisco clubs in the early 2000s, Kasher was a darling of the Bay Area comedy scene. A spirited youth whose childhood was like something out of Dickensโdeaf parents, stays in mental institutions and an early exposure to drugs and alcoholโforged a tempered spirit in him. A unique stand-up comic, Kasherโs crowd work borders on shamanism. Now in L.A., he is writing and executive-producing a new television show for Showtime, based on his 2012 memoir Kasher In The Rye: The True Tale Of a White Boy From Oakland Who Became a Drug Addict, Criminal, Mental Patient, and Then Turned 16.Directed by the Russo brothers (Captain America: Civil War, Arrested Development), itโs a sign of how fast Kasherโs career is accelerating. Natasha Leggero is also hitting a wider and wider demographic. Her appearance on the Comedy Central roast of James Franco showed her to be the heir apparent to snarky comedians like Joan Rivers and Sandra Bernhard. A smart and sharp wit informs her comedy, with an โIโve seen it all beforeโ persona. Sheโs also the co-star, writer and director of Comedy Centralโs Another Period. A scathing commentary on todayโs celebrity-obsessed culture, the Victorian-era comedy features guest cameos from stars like Jack Black and โฆ Moshe Kasher. โIโm a co-executive producer on that show, as well,โ says Kasher. โAnd itโs for no reason connected to our marriage. Itโs based solely on my talent.โ The comedy power-couple married last October and, partly inspired by the story of a couple that took a 15-year honeymoon, has embarked on a three-week โHoneymoon Tourโ of their favorite cities. โSanta Cruz is one of the shows we are most looking forward to,โ says Kasher. โWe have some typical spots we are playing like Portland and Oakland and Austin, places we would go on any tour. But Santa Cruz is the fun spot for the Honeymoon Tour.โ โWe love burritos,โ says Leggero. โWe love burritos and surfing,โ agrees Kasher. โI have a technique of surfing where I get on the board and then I fall over immediately and I get scared and I go to the beach and I think about how old I am.โ โMoshe likes to surf,โ says Leggero. โHeโs stood up on a board a couple of times.โ While Leggeroโs stage performance is adorned in silk and perfume and pearls, Kasherโs proto-Mad Max attitude is rubbing off. While difficult to imagine, Leggero went to Burning Man. โI forced her to come, and she almost had a good time,โ says Kasher. โItโs a great place to go breast feed your pet ferret,โ says Leggero. โShe had a good time,โ Kasher insists. โItโs part of her persona to not enjoy things. But she had a great time pretending to be better than everyone.โ โItโs not just my persona that doesnโt enjoy dust storms and no food,โ she retorts. Donโt let all that snark fool you, though. Behind it, these two have big intertwined hearts that will woo you, wow you and make you laugh. Like when Leggero finally admits she liked the ecological aspect of Burning Man. โEveryone brings their own cups, plates and silverware. You begin washing your dishes with 10,000 other people, and you realize youโre part of a community. And to leave a place like that with no trash made an impact on me. That was my strongest take-away,โ she says. โWhy canโt we live like that all the time?โ
The Honeymoon Tour with Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher stops in Santa Cruz at 8 p.m. on June 6 at the Veterans Memorial Building. Tickets are $25 on brownpapertickets.com.
The driveway and garage of Paul Elerickโs Aptos house is home to four cars, two of them classicsโa 1950 Ford and a 1954 Mercury. Both are vibrant red and were on the road before the 79-year-old Elerick even knew how to drive. They seem like an odd fit for a onetime skeptic of highway widening, who helped start the Campaign for Sensible Transportation over a decade ago. He was never โthe anti-car guy,โ though, he explains. The crusade against highway widening was never about automobiles, he says, but instead about preventing a boom in growth to the community. โWe werenโt too hot about seeing an eight-lane freeway all the way to Watsonville, but that wasnโt necessarily because of the cars. It was because of the growth. And a lot of people agreed with us,โ Elerick says. โBut itโs a different ballgame now.โ Elerick, who helped defeat a ballot measure to widen the highway 12 years ago, resigned as co-chair for the Campaign for Sensible Transportation a few months ago to endorse the latest measure from the Santa Cruz Regional Transportation Commission (RTC). Since stepping down, Elerick has been butting heads with fellow transportation activists and old friends about a possible sales tax measure, which would widen Highway 1 while also putting tens of millions of dollars into local roads, public transportation and bike and pedestrian projects. The first transportation measure, which hit ballots in 2004, was a half-cent sales tax plan that would have spent nearly two-thirds of its cash on widening the highway with expensive carpool lanes. A newer plan, which the RTC board is expected to approve this month, would put a half-cent sales tax that spends just 25 percent of its money on Highway 1, if voters approve it by a two-thirds vote come November. Engineers would build merge lanes that run from onramp to offramp, a smaller-scale plan thatโs cheaper, although also less effective than carpool lanes in reducing traffic congestion. The plan would also fix local roads, pay for rail corridor improvements, fund the Rail Trail network and help the ailing METRO bus system. The plan has been comprehensive enough to gain the support of major environmental organizations like Ecology Action. Still, a small group of activists has launched letter-writing campaigns and flooded public meetings to express their disdain for the measure, which they say will have an impact on climate change unless RTC boardmembers take highway widening off the measure. Elerick says that would be enough to kill it. He feels that the Campaign for Sensible Transportation has been hijacked by single-issue environmentalists who ignore the countyโs serious transportation problems and only care about global warming. โI know all about that, so letโs talk about something else,โ he says. โLetโs talk about getting people home from work. And I really think thereโs so many good things in that ballot measureโso many good things.โ Jack Nelson, one of the co-chairs for the Campaign for Sustainable Transportation, tells GT he always appreciates hearing other peopleโs viewpoints, Elerickโs included. โMy personal preference is to stick to policy and not make it a personality issue. Heโs entitled to change his view,โ Nelson says. โI respect his opinion.โ Nelson helped bring Susan Handy, a transportation expert from UC Davis, to Santa Cruz for a discussion in April. Environmental documents for the new highway changes cite Handyโs work from 2003, arguing that new lanes on the freeway would not convince more people to travel. But Handy has since indicated itโs more complicated. New lanes, she has said, could actually put more cars on the road in the long-term, creating as much congestion as ever. โWe’re trying to shed light, actual research, on transportation policy,” Nelson says. Nelson has found other possible flaws in the documentsโnamely that the projected greenhouse gas emissions appear to be off by a factor of a couple of hundred, as GT reported in February. (Caltrans wonโt comment on the documents while they are in review.) Nelson and other activists point out that there are differences between what was studied in the environmental documents and what the RTC is proposing, and they would like to see metering and traffic lights at on ramps considered. When the Santa Cruz City Council voted 6-1 in support of the measure, Councilmember Micah Posner, a longtime transportation activist voiced similar concerns. โI lost sleep over this one,โ Posner said at the meeting, turning away from his colleagues and looking toward the Community TV camera. โI respect [Councilmember] Don Lane a lot and [County Supervisor] John Leopold, who helped put it together, and I definitely am saying that this proposal is a heck of a lot better than the one we beat before. But I canโt support something thatโs based on a false pretense, and widening the highway will not work.โ Many South County leaders, though, like District 2 County Supervisor Zach Friend, have for years called highway improvements a working peopleโs issue. Many low-income people drive from the southern end of the county up Highway 1 to their jobs in Santa Cruz. Even a small improvement makes a big difference, Friend says, and he isnโt buying the argument that highway widening wonโt be effective enough, since activists already halted the carpool lane plan, which was slated to create more congestion relief. Last December at an RTC meeting, Friend compared fanatic transportation advocates to national politicians โat least of a specific political partyโโmeaning Republicansโwho support cutting taxes to the point where they canโt fund any federal programs. โAnd then those federal programs donโt work, and then people say, โWell, those federal programs donโt work. We should shut them down.โ Itโs a pretty interesting argument,โ Friend said at the meeting. โItโs brilliant, actually, politically. But there are real people who are really impacted by these decisions that we make.โ As county roads lie in a state of disrepair, local leaders have already started worrying about the future, well past November, when the possible measure would hit the ballot. At the Pasatiempo Inn, former Republican state lawmaker Tom Campbell spoke last month to a room with a mix of nonprofit executives, local leaders and reporters. After speaking about the upcoming election cycle, Campbell fielded questions at the event, which was hosted by the Santa Cruz Chamber of Commerce. As the inquiries dwindled, George Dondero, executive director of the RTC, raised his hand to thank Campbell for saying earlier in the afternoon that more counties should fund transportation with local taxes, but the longtime transportation expert worried even that might not be enough. โEven if weโre successful here, itโs just going to be a start, and throughout my career, itโs been frustrating to hear both the federal and state level retreat from infrastructure in general, not just transportation. Do you have any optimism about that trend changing, because it doesnโt seem to be getting any better?โ Dondero asked. โNo, I do not,โ Campbell said. A couple of seconds later, the crowd began chuckling. Dondero, stunned for a second, gazed around the dining room as it filled with grim, pessimistic snickering. Then, he shrugged, leaned back in his seat and laughed.
Update 6/8/16:ย GTย originally reported that Bike Santa Cruz County has endorsed a possible ballot measure from the Regional Transportation Commission. Bike Santa Cruz County has not made an endorsement, although director Amelia Conlen has spoken positively about aspects of it. We regret the error.
Michelle Chappelโs mom thought she was crazyโand maybe she was right. After all, Chappel had graduated from Princeton, and gone on to a great career as a psychology professor at Santa Clara University, excelling in her field. Then she gave it all up, because what Chappel really wanted to do was write music. Even if it seemed like a crazy move at the time, she felt she had to give it a try. โI would always tell my students to follow their hearts. I started to realize after a while that I wasnโt really taking my own advice,โ Chappel says. โDeep down inside, I really wanted to be a rock โnโ roll star. I wasnโt really owning it.โ This one decision back in the late โ80s not only led to realizing her musical dreams, but also led her down an unexpected pathโtraveling all over the world, garnering hits in multiple countries, and juggling several simultaneous careers. Now she has eight albums under her beltโseven in the folk/pop/country genre, and one meditation album. When sheโs not playing music, she does consulting work, holds inspirational workshops, and for a while taught part-time at UCSC. โThere was a year I taught at UCSC, consulted for Yahoo, and recorded a CD at the same time,โ Chappel says. โI pick up one career and then I do another one, and then do another one, and do them all at the same time. Thatโs been my life. Never a dull moment.โ When she made that initial decision to follow her passion, Chappel was only at the beginning of her journey of self-discovery. She didnโt quite know what to do, but she was open to opportunity. In the early โ90s, at the advice of her now ex-husband, she moved to South Africa, where she got signed to Polygram and produced several hits there, including a No. 9 hit in 1994 (โStrange Kind Of Loveโ). She later relocated to Europe, and in 2002 scored a No. 7 hit (โWheels on the Busโ) in the U.K., where she was signed to Gold Circle International. The successes were good, but something still wasnโt right. She describes her first two records as very Joni Mitchell-esque, in that sheโs writing about herself and her feelings. After releasing her second album, she had an epiphany while visiting the crypt of St. Francis in Italy. She swore she heard St. Francis whisper to her: โget your ego out of your music.โ โIโd been frustrated with major labels, felt I had been treated more like a commodity than a person,โ Chappel says. โI started writing songs that encourage people to follow their hearts. I realized Iโd combined psychology and music and found my true calling.โ Not only was her newer music encouraging to other people, but she could see how everything she was involved in was connected. They werenโt separate sides of herself, they were one and the same. Even her consulting, which she began calling Creativity Rock Star Consulting, and her seminars were designed to do the very same thing her music did: inspire people. โI think that moment, it helped me to do everything the same way,โ she says. โIโm a singer, but what I sing about is the same thing I consult about, same thing I teach about. I wasnโt just writing for myself, and it made it so much more meaningful.โ Chappel continues to keep exploringโ musically, she doesnโt feel like sheโs really found her sound yet. The only real unifying trait of her music is that itโs all derived from her acoustic guitar, and it tends to be roots-oriented, though often with heavy pop influences. Sheโs still figuring out what sheโs going to do on her next album. โTo me, itโs all about the sound, the message and the voiceโnot so much the instrumentation,โ she says. โI just talked with a producer in Nashville who wants to work with me, and heโs like โstrip it all out. Just you and your guitar โฆ all this compression stuff thatโs been going on for 20 years, letโs throw that out the window.โ The bottom line is Iโm really a fan of a good song.โ
INFO: 7 p.m., June 5, Don Quixoteโs, 6275 Hwy. 9, Felton, $10/Adv, $12/Door. 335-2800.
I first encountered the work of Hildy Bernstein at a group show four or five years ago. The paintings I saw were quiet atmospheric landscapes, no figures, and saturated with mood. But last month I saw another aspect of Bernsteinโs recent exploration of life, death, and what materializes between here and there. In a show of deceptively undramatic work, dramatically entitled โLove and Death,โ Bernstein revealed her edgy evocation of loss and the unseen world of spirits. The work was as powerful as it was minimalist: A boy, drawn in graphite, stood in a nighttime of black and white acrylic with a gun in his hand. Faces, barely perceptible, emerged Etruscan-like out of an empty canvas. Beautifully composed portraits of no one in particular shimmered with a corona of pale disembodied heads. Magic realism at its most mysterious, I thought, unable to shake Bernsteinโs tough and tender images. โThe faces of the unseen.โ Thatโs how she describes some of the images that seem to push upward toward the viewer from another world. Bernsteinโs artistic arc achieved orbit somewhere between the drawing classes she took as a girl at Manhattanโs historic Art Students League and the creative homecoming she experienced at the renowned Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado. โAt Naropa I had become part of a Buddhist communityโpsychology, religious studies and the artsโit was the tripod that made absolute sense to me.โ After eight years in Colorado Bernstein says she knew she was ready for โthe next phaseโ of her life. Gathering her instincts and her 2-and-a-half-year-old son, she arrived in Santa Cruz going on 30 years ago. Into her life came dance, movement, massage therapy and a Daoist study group. The Daoist idea of returning to oneโs true self sparked Bernsteinโs return to visual art in the late โ90s. โBut I promised myself that I would return only for the pleasure of it,โ she says. โI had to do it for the joy of itโI was just going to start in and let it unfold. And Iโm still in it.โ ย Showing her work for the first time in 2001, Bernstein now does several shows and Open Studios each year, staying true to her creative spiritual quest. โNature and human nature, I go back and forth between the landscape and the figure,โ she explains, eyes gleaming bottle-green. โMy figure work draws me into such a dark mysterious placeโlife and deathโthat I have to step back from that and return to something greater than human experience,โ she says, pointing to a haunting, highly abstracted landscape. โI have to get to a bigger view.โ One of her goals as a painter is to spark an emotional response. โThatโs the miracle of painting,โ she says. โAll this paint, and these marks, and it becomes something that you can feel.โ Influenced by the aesthetic of Japanese art, especially her studies of Japanese tea ceremonies, Bernstein embraces the minimal in her visual work. โPeople might think that I underpaint,โ she says, showing me a series of stark charcoal and acrylic heads, โbut I love that. I love how the faces seem to appear out of nothing.โ Loss and death have figured into Bernsteinโs personal life lately. โI am painting my way through these experiences,โ she says. Her mane of extravagant hair almost comprises a visual lament. โThe paintings are taking us into a story,โ she admits. A story that canโt be photographed. A man at night standing in an ocean of rising water. โHow do I make sense of whatโs going on in the world?โ she asks rhetorically. โMaybe itโs my own mythology.โ Or maybe sheโs bearing therapeutic witness. Ready with paint and canvas to see what happens. Living simply, as she describes it, has enabled Bernstein the freedom to pursue what she loves; โto just paint.โ ย For more info and to see her work, visit Hildy Bernsteinโs profile on artslant.com.
Just two days after re-opening spaciously at the corner of Seabright and Soquel avenues, Lillianโs Italian Kitchen already looks like it had been welcoming the public to its handsome new dining room forever. The newly expanded Lillianโs boasts long side banquettes, a central expanse of flexible table seating, and a dark wood back bar and cocktail seating that will probably be one of the top spots in town to sip, flirt and watch flat-screen sports. It felt like a neighborhood homecoming for the Morenos and their team of chefs, whose flaming sautรฉ pan theatricals at the exhibition kitchen were visible for all to see. Very Vanessiโs. Service was welcoming and right on cue, and the family-friendly menu was as lengthy as ever. My companion waxed nostalgic over the wire bread basket stocked with fresh ciabatta and tapenade olive oil. โItโs just like Jersey,โ he beamed. Itโs true, the feel of the unfussy hall is very Brooklyn-by-the-beach. We agreed to split a house green salad ($8.50)โdressed with a superlative creamy pesto vinaigretteโand then explore the Lillianโs concept two ways. I chose a fresh king salmon special with smashed potatoes and garlic spinach ($27) while Jack went for the beloved penne and Sunday gravy with meatballs ($24). We ordered a Chianti Classico ($9.50) and Nebbiolo ($11) by the glass from Lillianโs wine list. Distinctive stemware. Generous pours. Seated at the banquette closest to the back entranceโwatched over by a suite of appealing family photographsโwe enjoyed a surprisingly quiet dining experience. Given the size of the room and the vintage pressed tin ceiling, the noise level toward the Soquel Avenue windows can climb as the room reaches capacity. We were both very pleased with our choices. My salmon arrived with a succulent moist interior and that crisp seared top that only restaurants seem to be able to do. The spinach was ridiculously delicious and infused the potatoes beneath with a comforting garlic inflection. Tiny radish sprouts topped a dice of tomatoes in the center of the dish. Pretty and tasty. The penne was perfectly cooked and the Sunday gravyโa charismatic tomato meat sauce of simmered meats and Italian sauceโwas heaven. Jack loved Lillianโs supersized meatballs. Everything tasted like serious Italian home cooking. Checking out the bar area after dinner, I got a closer look at the beautiful woodwork and the polished granite bar top. The line-up of small tables in this lounge section felt incredibly cozy, tucked into the wraparound dining space. The pacing hummed throughout our meal, as streams of diners cameโor took a seat to wait for tables. It felt like it had always been here, the new expanded, thoroughly old-school California Italian Lillianโs. Welcome home! Hours are 4-9 p.m., and until 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Closed Sunday. lilliansitaliankitchen.com.
Wine Honors
Soquel Vineyardsโ 2014 Nelson Chardonnay was awarded a 91 point rating from Wine Enthusiast. The wine contains 100 percent Santa Cruz Mountains Chardonnay and weighs in at a refreshing 13.7 percent alcohol, driving โan intense and remarkable sense of sea salt caramelโ as well as a โchalky limestone character,โ according to the magazine. Since this wine also won a Double Gold at the 2016 San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition, Iโm inclined to head on over to the winery and pick up a bottle. Or two. In the $28 ballpark.
When her partner came out as a transgender man, Whitney Smith was pissed. โI was like, โI donโt want to be any more different than we are. Weโre this lesbian couple, weโre adopting two kids, weโve had a lot of other difficult things happen in our livesโtraumatic, hard, challenging things,โ says Smith, 44, who has been out in Santa Cruz for years. โWhat I quickly realized was that for his coming out process, I was going to have to do a lot of coming out as well. I was going to have to become the perfect trans spokesperson.โ While coming out is always primarily about the individual, itโs rarely a process that affects them alone, says Smith. โI describe it as a grieving and transition process. I think itโs a pretty apt framework, because one of the stages of grief is denial,โ says Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) Deb Abbott, who leads a local support group for partners of transgender people called TransLove. At the time that he first brought up the prospect of transitioning, Smith and her husband were in the middle of adopting two children. โAll I said to him was, โI cannot deal with this right now, this has to go on a goddamn shelf for a while,โโ says Smith, speaking candidly over the phone. โHe very generously agreed, which now looking back I realize was probably excruciating, because I didnโt understand that once somebody comes out and owns their identity as a trans person thereโs a real level of like โI want to get the hell out of my body and into my right body.โ He did that out of love for us.โ Four years into her husbandโs transition, some things are still sinking in and evolving, with new challenges at every turn, says Smith. With three kids and 11 years of marriage between them, she says she has never considered leaving. โMost married people get to the point in their marriage where theyโre like โOK, yeah, I donโt like you sometimes, but I love you. Are there more good days than bad days?โ We had that,โ says Smith. โInitially, I thought I was getting a hairier wife, but what I actually got was a husband.โ
WHICH BOX?
โOne of our friends said it best: โI was not expecting a penis in my relationship,โโ says Logan McCann, 52. Most same-sex female couples wouldnโt. But Logan came out to his wife, Chrissann, 45, as a transgender man two years agoโincrementally, and rather reluctantly. IT TAKES TWO Chrissann McCann knew long before her husband, Logan (left), that he was a transgender man, but being a supportive partner meant waiting for him to be ready, she says. PHOTO: KEANA PARKER โI was terrified. Emotionally, Iโm exposed,โ remembers Logan. โIโm basically opening up, exposing myself and taking the chance that my partner might tell me โF-you,โ and leave.โ Sitting next to Logan, one hand on his knee, occasionally smoothing her long, lightly white-flecked ponytail, Chrissann smiles, remembering the wait. โThe first time I brought up โyou know sometimes it sounds like you identify more as male,โ he was like โI have never said that, what are you talking about?โโ Chrissann says, raising her voice in mock anger. ย โAs we started to get more comfortable, more familiar, I could see Logan windowshopping.โ He inched his way toward the conversation, suggesting a preliminary conversation about having his daughter not call him โmom,โ says Chrissann, and planning what days theyโd talk about transition, in between vet visits for their cat, paying taxes, going to work and daily life. Chrissann just had to wait, she says, because while she felt she knew what her partner wanted to say, she knew that Logan was on a journey that requires an โegocentric time,โ as she calls it. When he finally did announce his plans to transition, he threw it โout against the wall and let her sit with it,โ he says. Chrissann was bursting at the seams: โIt was killing me because inside I was like โWay to go!โโ says Chrissann, eyes smiling. Chrissann identifies as a cisgender bisexual woman. โI did have some resistance to some of the concepts at first because I have some resentment about gender in the worldโthat itโs so forced on people and thereโs all these expectations about what it means, and I felt like, โFine, you identify as a male, does that mean you need different things as a male?โโ says Chrissann, who is co-facilitator of the TransLove group with Abbott. โBut I realized that for Logan, gender means a very different thing than it does for me.โ
EVERYTHINGโS CHANGEDโAND NOTHING
When Smith realized that in order to support her husband she would have to be the one to contact her childrenโs friends, parents and teachers, she worried. She didnโt have to, says Smith, especially about how their three children would react. โThey actually showed me how to be OK faster than I got to be OK myself,โ says Smith. โAs a family, itโs such an important conversation to normalise.โ Kids are adaptable, says Abbott, but having a supportive family and community is critical from the very beginning. โIn Santa Cruz, weโre a progressive community. The Diversity Center has a trans girls group, trans teen group, trans family groupโthereโs so much support. We have the fabulous Dr. Jennifer Hastings training people locally and around the country,โ says Abbott. โBut when kids have an early awareness and donโt have the support, it can be profoundly damaging.โ
โInitially, I thought I was getting a hairier wife, but what I actually got was a husband.โ โ Whitney Smith
For a family in transition, there can be a whole new territory of pronouns, names, surgeries, pills, hormones and more. Although prior to her partnerโs transition, Smith had often joked that she was married to a manโthere were areas of uncharted territory then, too. Until her partnerโs transition, Smith says she thought that male gender expression had more to do with nurture than natureโthat if you raised a boy and a girl the same way, theyโd turn out the same. โI look back and Iโm like โHow dumb could I have been?โ Testosterone is such a powerful hormone that it shows up energetically everywhere. I was talking to my straight guy friend and he looked at me and said, โYeah, conscious men are just holding it together by a thread,โโ remembers Smith, chuckling. โTestosterone has a power that I didnโt understand until it lived in my bathroom cabinet in a vial.โ She is aware of the change in his brain chemistryโthe way heโs less communicative, more physicalโbut while itโs a new sensation, she says, it hasnโt driven them apart. โIโm actually more attracted to my husband than Iโve ever been. Our attraction, our love for each other, is deeper than itโs ever been,โ says Smith. โThat has wholly to do with him being who he is meant to be. He shows up so vibrant, so happy, so full.โ Smith identifies as more on the bisexual side of the spectrum, but since sheโd been with women for a majority of her adult life, navigating the bedroom presented a challengeโinitially. โEven if youโre bisexual and youโve slept with men your whole life, thatโs going to be an adjustment, so I would say thatโs where that shows up for us,โ says Smith. โBut the idea of penetration is not a straight paradigm. I think when people have a healthy relationship with their sexuality and when youโve reached a level of sexual self-mastery and confidence, it just doesnโt matter.โ In the case of a same-sex relationship where the partner strongly identifies as lesbian or gay and their spouse transitions to the opposite gender, that could be a far greater hurdle, says Smith.
QUEER OR NOT?
Within the LGBTQ community, identifying as gay or lesbian can be a bold, brave thing, a source of hard-won pride. A partner coming out as transgender can leave the cisgender partner questioning how they identify, says Abbott.
โI wasnโt ready to leave my marriage. These things donโt just happen overnight, we still loved each other and are good friends.โ โ Jan H.
โYouโre not saying โIโm leaving you,โ youโre saying โIโm transitioning and if weโre perceived as lesbians and Iโm transitioning, Iโll be perceived as a man, as my true gender, then we will be perceived as a hetero couple,โ says Abbott. โThereโs a grief sometimes of the loss of the queer identity or lesbian or gay identity.โ As members of the queer community and organizers of the last 11 pride events in town, itโs something that Logan and Chrissann have experienced firsthand. โBasically I feel like Iโve been thrown out of one house and into a new house, but I havenโt been accepted by this new house yet,โ says Logan with a guffaw. โSo Iโm like fine, Iโll go find my own house!โ Itโs the kind of division that exists because of the enormous battles that lesbian women have had to fight to get to where they are today, and their connection to the feminist movement, says Abbott. But the conversation has changed. Now the term โqueer,โ which was once used as a vicious derogatory term, has been reclaimed as an umbrella term by many younger members of the LGBTQ community. The terms pansexual, bisexual, demisexual, genderqueer, genderfluid and others have gained footholds in queer discourse in order to demonstrate that when it comes to sexuality and gender, itโs very rarely only gay or straight, male or female.
WEDDED WIFE VS. LESBIAN LIFE
Coming out is not the same for everyone, nor is it the same for people who come out as gay when compared to someone who comes out as a transgender man; or as a lesbian compared to someone who comes out as a transgender woman. SUPPORTING SPOUSES Deb Abbott has been a bastion of local LGBTQ support for decades and now heads a support group for partners of transgender people, called TransLove. PHOTO: KEANA PARKER What they do often have in common, however, is the risk. Depending on where the individual lives, the realities of coming out can be dangerously different. When Abbott moved to Santa Cruz to attend UCSC in the early โ70s, it took her many years to discover her sexuality, though she always found herself very close with women. Abbott didnโt fully come out as lesbian until after her marriage with a man ended, as she describes in her book From Wedded Wife to Lesbian Life, a collection of stories by women who were in heterosexual relationships before coming out. After the book was published in 1995, Abbott received letters from women all over the country and realized that not only were there far more women experiencing the same journey of discovery, but they also needed a place to talk and learn from one another. She founded a support group in 1997 and ran it for roughly 12 years. In that time, the struggles that women faced were often of a very traditional nature, says Abbott. โWomen were also very much more financially dependent than in the reverse case, where a gay or bi man realizes he wants to leave his marriage. One of the challenges for middle-aged folks is that youโve got friends that have been in your life for decades,โ says Abbott, adding that the film Carol showed one of the most heartbreaking risks: โYou not only risk losing this best-friend-husband of yours, [you] maybe even [risk] being alienated from your kids.โ There are now far more women in the workforce, with more autonomy and a greater level of consciousness, so at least in the Bay Area, itโs not as difficult to come out as it used to be, says Abbott.
RETHINKING MARRIAGE
For a couple that cares deeply about one another, in which one comes out as gay or lesbian, Abbott encourages them to forget what society expects of marriage and divorce, and focus on what would work for them. โI encouraged women to go to therapy with spouses, work on arrangements and how to talk with the kids together. Work with the goal,โ says Abbott. โYou have to have buy-in from both partners, work on the redefining family and work on your relationships.โ For Jan H., 62, thatโs exactly what she did. After reading Abbottโs book in the late โ90s, Jan realized that she was a lesbian woman in a heterosexual marriage. โI wasnโt ready to leave my marriage,โ says Jan. โThese things donโt just happen overnight, we still loved each other and are good friends.โ Jan was open with her husband, but they still happily stayed together until January 2015, after being married for 25 years. Even after Jan came to the understanding that she was a lesbian, the closeness in her marriage did not dissipate. โThe strongest part of our relationship was always our friendship, it wasnโt like we werenโt physically attracted to each otherโwe were always affectionate. I would say the sexual attraction was never really one of the strongest things. That definitely went away as time went on,โ says Jan, adding that in her case, sexuality was fluid. โItโs not like we never held hands or put our arms around one another, we continued that even after I was officially saying I am a lesbian.โ Now that Jan is newly single and retired, she says she feels incredibly lucky to have had a long and loving partnership with her husband. Even though she did feel closeted, says Jan, it gave her the space and time to discover herself. For her it wasnโt about intentionally renegotiating what marriage meant, as she and her husband remained exclusive and slept in the same bed until they separatedโbeing together meant being a family. When asked if her ex-husband ever expressed feelings of betrayal or anger, Jan admits that he did. In some ways, she speculates, he was probably in denial.
QUEER FEAR
Thereโs a lot of fear around the coming out process, for all parties involved: fear of being rejected, fear of being alone, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being taken out of one box and put into another, and fear of being unsafe. For Smith, thereโs a host of new fears: her husbandโs impending surgery, the health risks, even his using the restroom in towns less progressive than Santa Cruz. Just like Chrissann, who now mourns the loss of her โbathroom buddy,โ Smith says something as simple as going to the restroom has brought up new anxiety. For one, says Smith, there is far less privacy in a menโs restroom, so deviating from the standard โstand and deliverโ urinal method gets noticed. โIf you walk into a restroom and thereโs four, five other dudes, and you do something thatโs not in line with the normal rules, you could easily be a target for a lot of reasons,โ says Smith. โThat doesnโt mean you should have a penis, because some trans people donโt want a penis and thatโs OK. [But] it feels very nerve-wracking.โ Navigating these unforeseen hurdles alone is a near-impossible task, says Abbott, which is why having access to support groups like TransLove is so important. โOne of the strong motivators for TransLove was to provide a space to have all of that huge range of feelings and reactions separate from their partner, because many havenโt told friends and have their own coming out process,โ says Abbott. โIt gives them a space to be mad, to be sad, to go through all of their stages of grief and then hopefully stay in their relationship with the new set of identity labels.โ Finding people who really get it is an invaluable resource, says Logan. โHaving met other trans people and trans men has really helped, because suddenly I know I can reach outโthereโs support, theyโre friends. There are various people further along in the process and there are people behind me in the process,โ says Logan. โItโs not going to be a simple two-years-to-transition, itโs a lifetime commitment. Iโm doing it for the rest of my life. Iโm lucky that my wife is there to give me the shots because Iโm terrified of needles.โ โThat didnโt change with the transition,โ interjects Chrissann, her eyes crinkling in a grin. โIโm not going anywhere.โ
SANTA CRUZ PRIDE
Santa Cruzโs 42nd annual Pride events kick off at 11 a.m. on Sunday, June 5 with the parade at at Pacific Avenue and Church Street. The parade will pay homage to this yearโs Grand Marshals, local out singer-guitarist Patti Maxine and Delta High School student Adrian Viloria, founder of Santa Cruz Youth Radio. Following the parade, the 2016 festival will take place on the grounds between Cathcart, Cedar and Lincoln streets with vendors, food trucks, music, kidsโ activities, spoken word artists and performers on two stages in honor of Marsha P. Johnson and Harvey Milk. Performers include Aerial Arts, Anita Tiara Drag, Cheer SF, Do-Rights Burlesque, among others, and an open mic and a dance party to close out the day.
In researching her book Girls and Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape, Peggy Orenstein spoke with 70 young girls between the ages of 15 and 20, and compared the Dutch model of sex education to the American one. Orenstein found that Dutch girls reported fewer negative consequences from sexโlike disease and unwanted pregnancyโthan American girls, as well as more positive consequences, like enjoying sex, and feeling like they can communicate well with their partners. The reason, maybe, is that, โthe American mothers only took a harm-reduction approach,โ says Orenstein in an interview with NPR. โThey talked about contraception; they talked about disease; they talked about danger; they talked about risk. The Dutch mothers talked about how to balance risk and responsibility and pleasure. And they talked very frankly about girlsโ entitlement to sexual pleasure and that made a huge difference in the outcomes.โ Looking back at my own middle-school sex education, itโs true: the focus centered around protection from diseases, menstruation, pregnancyโall important stuffโbut the pleasure aspect of sex was as vacant as the clitoris and vulva were from the alien-like diagram of internal female parts. It wasnโt until I found myself in the back row of โBlow Job Grad Schoolโโa class taught by sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko at Pure Pleasureโthat I realized the true breadth of what weโre not taught. Of course, the consequences of living in a โsex-negativeโ culture, as many would call ours, affect all gendersโand it soon became clear that, aside from a few tips and techniques to try at home (including what Mihalko calls โthe Flying Squirrelโ and another, โthe Slow Stirโ), the real focus of the class was on empowering us with the tools to find out for ourselves. โI want you to walk away with permission to like what you like and not like what you donโt like, and to extend that to your partners,โ says Mihalko, whose teaching style is an equal balance of comedy, wit, anatomy lesson and helpful metaphor. Mihalko, who appears as himself on the โChelsea Does Marriageโ episode of Chelsea Handlerโs Netflix documentary series, has devoted himself to creating more self-esteem, self-confidence and sexual health in and out of the bedroom, as well as to get America talking in โmore empowered, less fear-based ways about sex and intimacy.โ Early on in the class, the self-proclaimed โsex geek,โ gave us perhaps the most useful assignment as far as changing the way weย get downย forever: schedule an โR&Dโ night (research and development) with your partners, spending a good 45 minutes exploring their bodies. (That this was a novel idea for most of the class was duly noted.) One reason this is so helpful is that sensitivity and pleasure levels vary greatly from person to person. Also because, โWe cannot read each otherโs minds,โ says Mihalko. The ability to talk about sex even when youโre feeling ashamed, is the number one tool that couples will take away from his workshops and online coursesโthat, and lube, he adds. โA great example of โsex negativityโ in American society is that itโs perfectly OK to show gruesome acts of violence to children on TV and film but not OK to show two consenting adults making love and exchanging sexual pleasure,โ Mihalko wrote to me later by email.ย This means that many Americans get their education, or miseducation, as it were, watching pornographyโwhich Mihalko reminds us is largely an entertainment mediumโnot an educational medium. โWe run the risk of developing bad habits,โ says Mihalko, including, he jokes, the misguided notion that all it takes to have great sex is ordering a pizza for delivery. I left the class with more knowledge of my own anatomyโincluding which parts correlate, more or less, with those of the โpenis ownerโโand an enlightened sense of the penis-ownerโs topography, mechanics and sexual perceptions commonly reinforced by cultural norms. Pure Pleasure is a vibrant hub for sexy adult edโthe only one in townโand has been since opening in 2008. โThe workshops were always a part of the vision,โ says Amy Baldwin, who co-owns Pure Pleasure with her mother. โMy mom and I were inspired by other sex positive pleasure shops in the Bay Area, and wanted to bring sex-positive sex ed to Santa Cruz โฆ Our classes eradicate shame while โnormalizingโ sexuality with the stance that all consensual sex is good sex.โ Pure Pleasure, now in an airy new location at 111 Cooper St., offers several classes a month. โWe bring educators from all over the country, with everything from Rope Bondage to Tantra 101,โ Baldwin says. More ย information on Reid Mihalkoโs โsex geekery,โ including free videos, on sex10xonline.com.
What I find most impressive about documentary filmmakers is their conviction. It takes incredible belief in the importance of what is often a very obscure subject to mount the usually years-long effort to bring a film about it to the screen. Talking to the directors and producers behind several of the documentaries at the Santa Cruz Film Festival for this weekโs cover story, I gotta say my favorite thing was hearing about how they cycled through feelings of doubt, confidence, overconfidence, outrage and doubt again while working on their passion projects. Like, โHow can no one know about this? I have to tell everyone about this! Wait, does anyone want to watch a film about this?โ
What makes it even better is that the films that came out of these efforts are so diverse and fascinating; in fact, this may be my favorite group of documentaries from any year of the festival so far (and I was covering it back in its first year, 2002). Of course, I could only cover so many of this yearโs features in my story, and it was crazy-making to have to leave out others, like Out of Sight, the in-depth look at how we think about trash made by UCSC film students, and Major!, the story of transgender crusader Miss Major Griffin-Gracy. Plus, there are some really interesting narrative films like the post-apocalyptic tennis film (!!!) The Open. So, I hope youโll read the story and then go straight to santacruzfilmfestival.org to see the full schedule of films, and then head over to their new, rather ingenious festival set-up at the Tannery Arts Center the first week of June.
STEVE PALOPOLI | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Thinking Smart
Regarding the April 13 article about Smart Growth (โBuilding Upโ): how livable Santa Cruz will be in 2040 does not depend as much on the height or placement of new buildings, but on how pedestrian and bike-friendly the spaces between them are. New biking and pedestrian corridors and space for outdoor seating are certainly essential, but a true test is how the city and developers take into account corridors that already exist. In the planned development at the corner of Soquel and Trevathan/Hagemann, the alleyway behind Mayโs Sushi serves as the connecting point to Arana Gulch and the harbor for joggers, kids on bikes, strollers, dog walkers, and many others from surrounding neighborhoods. Will this corner and alley be developed without adding designated space for bikes and pedestriansโturning the quiet alley into a dangerous concentration of two-way traffic that forces locals to now drive to the Gulch? Or will the plan value and consider locals who have used this corridor for decades? The answer to this question and others like it, in every place high-rise apartments are built, will determine how โsmartโ the growth really is, and if residents decide to flee the development or embrace it.
Jacob Sackin
Santa Cruz
We are so fortunate that Jimmy Panetta is interested in representing our community and serving our nation in Congress! If there is one thing we all know, it is that at the political level, we donโt and wonโt agree on every issue that faces our community, let alone our nation. Therefore, we must rely on people who share a common set of values, make thoughtful decisions and have the ability to productively listen to and work with others to achieve a greater good. These are the precise characteristics that Jimmy represents.
Having been raised in our community, he understands our rich and diverse history, appreciates our current needs and has a vision for what is important for our future. ย He has served our country as a veteran, spent a career as a public servant and volunteered his time and effort to countless organizations in our community. He clearly cares and clearly serves.
Jimmy was instrumental in helping our area get the first phase of the Central Coast Veterans Cemetery started at the former Fort Ord. As a member of the Board, he was able to effectively engage our political leaders, mobilize our community leaders and work with members of the Board to work through a variety of very complex issues and decisions. His decision-making is informed, practical, and he ensures that everyone involved is engaged and involved in the final outcome.
If you believe that our next representative in Congress needs to be intelligent, service-oriented, a great listener and collaborator, ethical, caring, and results-oriented, then I would urge you to vote for Jimmy Panetta.
Greg Nakanishi
Carmel
Online Comments Re: Burgers
Still cannot comprehend in 2016 why anyone still consumes a carnivore diet with all of the well known negative moral/health effects attached instead of selecting an herbivore diet that is much more beneficial for humans as well as the planet.
โ Ray Jordan
PHOTO CONTEST WINNER
Submit to ph****@*******es.sc. Include information (location, etc.) and your name. Photos may be cropped. Preferably, photos should be 4 inches by 4 inches and minimum 250dpi.
GOOD IDEA
LET IT FLOW
Santa Cruzรขโฌโขs celebration of art and the river returns in June, which the city has declared San Lorenzo River Month. At this yearรขโฌโขs Ebb and Flow, Heidi Cramer is creating a public art sculpture that draws on the local landscape, plants and animals. The revelry will peak on June 18 with a walk along the levee, an art installation, and a Tanniversary event celebrating the Tannery World Dance & Cultural Centerรขโฌโขs new dance facility.
GOOD WORK
DESIGNS ON GREATNESS
A local marketing/digital design agency recently joined the Womenรขโฌโขs Business Enterprise National Council, the largest certifier of women-owned businesses in the country. It isnรขโฌโขt the first big honor for McDill Associates, owned by Melissa McDill, who happens to be the mother of local singer/songwriter McCoy Tyler. Over the last three decades, the Soquel-based group has also won a number of awards for packaging and graphic design.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
รขโฌลIn feature films, the director is God. In documentary films, God is the director.รขโฌย
